“When I was younger,” Lyons said, “I used to wish I didn’t have a body – that I was just a floating head. I was really confident in my mind, but not so much in my body.”
That feeling of being the only one, having a body that is so different, can create a disconnect, despite there being so many different types of bodies that are all wonderful.
Men aren’t immune to the challenges, whether they’re new to the scene or familiar with the gay community. Daniel Romero, 33, speaks to his own insecurities, and said claiming his identity and working in subsets of the gay scene that embrace different body sizes has helped build his confidence. “I’m not always comfortable with my body, not always comfortable in my own skin,” he said. “My experience bartending at the Wrangler has really helped me to become more confident.”
Body image issues often come in the form of wishing we looked different – yet even when someone fits what society considers an ideal of attractiveness, there can be challenges. During Out Front Colorado’s body image photo shoot, all who were photographed discussed what they loved best about their bodies, and what challenges or frustrations they’ve felt. All had aspects they are proud of, and challenges they have faced or still face.
For some, there is the impression that lesbians, as a group, have fewer body issues; that all lesbians love and validate all bodies. While this is true for some lesbians, others have found that they too are the victims of pressure from the media and community to have bodies that look a certain way.
Colorado musician Kyle Simmons, 24, elucidates. “When I first came out,” she said, “I looked incredibly different then I do now. I always felt like I was like living 10 feet from my true self. Finally opening up myself to the LGBTQ community solidified and stabilized a lot of the confusion and misconceptions I had about myself, internally and externally.”
On the other hand, being a musician has also affected Simmons’ relationship with her body – she works on reconciling her self-image with an image that will bring in the fans. “I felt that the music I was writing was more important then my image but quickly realized the pressure of image and ‘attracting the masses,’” Simmons said. “There is a constant battle to want my music to be heard and to further my career, but also to be true to myself and highlight the importance of what it means to be real with the perception of oneself.”
As the Body Image photo shoot models and others spoke about their bodies, one word came up again and again: Strength – our bodies are not important for what they are, but what they do for us. To make it through a world rife with stereotypes and expectations that may not equate with reality, to give us pleasure, to perceive, to speak, to think. Strength can be muscle, but it can also be vulnerability, growth, love, change, flexibility and many other things.
Take a moment to visualize the person you see when you look in the mirror. Are you proud of your reflection, focusing on all of your favorite attributes, thinking positively about your appearance? Or does your mind go to the more negative aspects, working to pick apart your image, focusing on the things that make you question how others see you? For most people, body image contains both parts of ourselves that make us proud, and parts that challenge us about our bodies.
Sources of insecurity are a constant in our world, but with the strength we show in numbers and the support we give to each other, we can work towards a community where there is truly no wrong way to have a body.
