As we sat around the dinner table contemplating what we, as a family, were going to do this holiday season, things got quite loud – as you might suspect they would with six opinions. We had a lot of questions to answer and agree upon as one family unit. Were we going to invite family over to our house? Were we going to any particular family member’s home? Or was it just going to be us this year?
Decisions, decisions.
Then in a strong authoritative voice, my 15-year-old daughter firmly asked, “Mommy, this year can we spend time with people who accept us and not tolerate us?”
And that profound question was the one that set my tone and attitude coming into this holiday season.
During the holiday season, I am often stressed out, running around from school plays to dinner parties, spending beyond my means for the latest and greatest toys, feeling an increasing need to rekindle relationships that have dwindled throughout the past year, and feeling the desire to spend quality time with my family outside of my immediate household.
In my crusade to hopefully make everyone happy in the past, I have often put my own wants, needs and desires on the back burner only to wake up to a pile of debt, look at my semi-happy children and run from family that tolerated us for the evening instead of accepting us for a lifetime.
As a responsible parent, I make a daily conscious effort to be a positive example in my children’s lives and to make responsible decisions. So this year, I am choosing to be true to myself and to them, and am making the decision to celebrate with family that accepts us: fully.
This year, we will be spending time with people that may have started out as just friends, but over the years have become family: people that don’t make “who I am” (read: my sexual orientation) the center of table conversation or whispering banter. People that pray with me and my children, not over me and my children for a cure of what they feel is a disease. People that I proudly call my family.
Who will you celebrate with?
If it wasn’t for my daughter taking a bold stance and asking such a thought-provoking question, our holiday season would probably look like it always had – tolerable. Take the time to make a conscious decision as to where and who you will spend your holiday season with this year and don’t forget to ask the kids what they think. You never know what lesson can be learned from our children that will help us become better parents
