The holidays are well at hand, and many in Denver are looking for ways to support their local shops and small businesses to come up with gifts for loved ones, especially among boycotts of many big-name brands. But for those in the queer community, looking to get their freak on this festive holiday season, the choice is probably obvious: (dis)obedience, a Denver-based, queer-owned sex shop that maintains its focus on providing pleasure for the LGBTQ+ community.
Disobedience, which has been a presence in the Colorado LGBTQ+ and kink communities for three years, has also recently opened their first permanent store, located at 3605 W Colfax Avenue. Previously, the shop only operated as a virtual distributor via their website and as a vendor at many markets and events such as Denver Pride and the Colorado Burlesque Festivals. Matt Stubbe and Cyn Mendez, co-owners and the couple behind Disobedience, said that the store’s physical presence has come as a surprise to many in the community, with many customers remarking they had no idea a shop like Disobedience was tucked away in a Colfax storefront.
Disobedience got its start when the two met at a big chain sex shop where Matt was working, and Cyn recognized how Matt had their own ideas on how to run a shop and place products, as well as how naturally and respectfully they engaged with different customers.
“It was just amazing to watch them talk to people, and it was just with so much … respect and didn’t overcrowd them, or make them feel uncomfortable,” Cyn says. “I was just so amazed with it, and I was like, ‘You’re working for them. Have you ever thought about doing your own thing?'”
Matt says they didn’t expect to enjoy working, especially at the big retailer they started at, but realized they enjoyed being able to talk with customers about what they’re looking for in different product and wanted to pursue that more. Matt also says they want to incorporate their education more into the business, as they are currently working on a master’s degree in sexual health with a focus on transgender healthcare at the University of Minnesota.
But it is already apparent at the Disobedience storefront that plenty of time and care has gone into selecting LGBTQ- inclusive products, with special attention on carrying products from smaller brands that emphasize gender-neutral and gender-affirming toys. “In 2025, I’m really looking forward to fine-tuning our inventory and working with … smaller brands, especially more trans-owned brands.” Matt says. “I really want our shop to be one of the places to find gender-affirming toys and gender-affirming products, and a lot of them are made by smaller creators.”
Another goal for the Disobedience owners, though, is to get their name out there, especially amid difficulties sex shops have with traditional marketing. One way the brand hopes to do this is their new podcast, (dis)obedient ones, available on their website. The podcast, which can also be found on Spotify and YouTube, centers itself on LGBTQ+ sexual health and wellness and released its first episode on November 27. The episode featured Barella Roberson, the Chief Executive Officer of BLK Alchemy, a sensual wellness and body care brand that emphasizes products for Black women and femmes, according to the website.
“Yes, we have our brand, yes, we sell sex toys and a variety of products, but we weren’t representing ourselves,” Cyn says. “This is on sale, and that is on sale, but it’s like, well, who are these people? After (the election), I was talking with Matt (and) I said, we really got to start putting our voice out there, especially in this community. We’re very transgender focused here because we want this to be a home … Our hope is that the transgender community can come and feel welcome.”
