Tis the season of lights, tinsel, and unresolved emotions. For many, Christmas and the holidays are a time full of more drama than jolly, and trust, I am there for you. From complicated family dynamics to perpetuating wasteful consumerism, I often wish that December would come and go, just like any other month.
Additionally, having worked in retail for more years than I care to disclose, Christmas music has become grating and bugs me more than hearing Kim K defending Kanye, again.
Luckily, there are many artists and musicians who feel exactly the same way as me. So, get cozy in your inner grinch, practice your fiercest “bah humbug,” and bask in the lamenting of the frigid season.
Mabel- “Loneliest Time of the Year”
Perhaps you wish you had someone special this year but 2019 just didn’t produce a flame long enough to endure the snow drift of that last blizzard. It’s ok, Mabel is right there with you, and has wrapped your woes into a soft, sultry pop tune.
“Sorry I’m not so merry/ But I feel like this yearly/ Christmastime isn’t my vibe/ Brings no joy into my life”
Sufjan Stevens- “That Was the Worst Christmas Ever!
Starting off a soft, gentle, folk tune, one may be fooled into thinking this is another adorable ode of yuletide. The hope and promise of miracles, holy nights, and endless dreams is flighty and abundant in the first verse. But alas, the true spirit of Christmas rings bright, family dysfunction and all! Things take a turn for Sufjan Stevens and a family fight turns into a day that will surely be swept under the rug.
“Our father yells, throwing the gifts in the wood stove/ my sister runs away, taking her books to the school yard/In time the snow will rise, in time the snow will rise/ In time the Lord will rise, in time the Lord will rise”
Paul Ballington- Don’t Be a Twat This Christmas
Sometimes you just got to call it like it is, holiday or not. If you’re forced to spend time with that family member who supports Trump or a neighbor who can’t seem to remember to pick up their pet’s excrement… tensions get high and energies can quickly become animated. This tune may be a good song to play when the conversation turns to one of the three topics of social faux pas – religion, politics, and money.
“Don’t be a twat this Christmas/ but if you are then stay away/ I won’t be a diplomat because nobody likes a twat/on Christmas day.”
The Pocket Gods- It’s Christmas But You’re Still a C*nt
If all else fails and that family cannot get their sh*t together, just play this jam-out tune to get out some of that pent up aggression. While the band dedicated the track to the UK Prime Minister, Boris Johnson, this can also be an appropriate tune for our very one Commander in Chief right here in the States.
The Waitresses- Christmas Wrapping
If you haven’t fully been engulfed by the reasons to be pissed this year and are holding onto a little bit of that holiday cheer, this tune may be just the right match for your mood. First introduced to us by the Spice Girls, this take on the mediocrity of Christmas is a great middle-ground for expectations and desires.
“Bah Humbug, now that’s too strong!/ ‘Cause it is my favorite holiday/ But all this year’s been a busy blur/
Don’t think I have the energy.”
