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Home » The Horror of a Second Pretender Presidency
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The Horror of a Second Pretender Presidency

Rick KitzmanBy Rick KitzmanNovember 3, 2020Updated:June 1, 20264 Mins Read
American Queer Life: The Horror of a Second Pretender Presidency Horror: an overwhelming and painful feeling caused by something frightfully shocking, terrifying, revolting, loathsome, macabre. To me, that describes the first term of the Pretender in the White House (apologies to Chrissie Hynde). America after a second? A combo of 1984, Aliens, and The Handmaid’s Tale. Which makes me worry about the youth of today who will live in that future America. After one of the Pretender’s 20,000 lies—and exhausted of being disgusted, disheartened, and disappointed—I screamed “Liar, liar! Pants on fire!” And cracked up at the thought of his trousers being in a perpetual state of combustion. From the inspiration of that rhymed couplet, I present:   ODE TO THE YOUTH OF AMERICA—Rockin’ Ricky Raps the Vote!

To Generation X don’t mean to vex; to Generation Why don’t mean to make sigh; to Generation Z don’t mean to forget Bernie. Yep, time to VOTE! ‘n rid DC of its orange bloat. He’s not my president, since ’16 a sad lament. And his party, the GOP? Better eat some CBD cuz G is for greed while the rest of us bleed; O’s for oppression while people of color run; P is for power, the rest of us they’ll devour. Tax cuts for the rich? That son-of-a-bitch! Money will trickle down? Didn’t buy it with Reagan. Richer are the 10%; How’s making rent? How’s the search for a job? (I’m so sick of his snobs.) How’s learning at school? And the fight against fossil fuel? And invasions of women’s privates by old men who drive it? GREED OPPRESSION POWER! No time to cower! Think of our planet, take 4 more years it cannot. Time to drain the swamp, WITH OUR BALLOTS STOMP his jabs at truth to confuse with his fake news. sowing chaos, pandering to kneelers before the cross. And if you’re LGBTQ his Nazis will come for you. Bizarro world has unfurled, led by Info-Wars— the Ark and dinosaurs?— Fox News on steroids. Who’ll be the next George Floyd? Don’t forget the COVID virus! Ain’t nothing to discus. 200 THOUSAND DEAD! if only creepy-creep had led! Who’ll bring charges of murder against this saboteur? He’s mendacious, rapacious. Lord, I need my Bette Davis! Our Constitution’s been mislaid, citizens betrayed by Senator Turtle, (ya know he wears a girdle) and his ilk who cheat and bilk MY COUNTRY TIZ OF THEE! (sell Putin Kentucky!) So damn weary of conspiracy theory. Laughing are the Russians n’ Chinese, all the ha-ha hacking sleaze, at Q-anon so gullible (is the election annullable?), at Proud Boys and their juvenile noise. And with their hate THEY are the “deep state,” think his tweeted typos are secret, sacred spy codes. We’re child molesters, kiddy sex traffickers to all of them. Wearing Michelle’s diadem the Slavic whore of Babylon got her immigrant parents, her billion. Screw the others jailed by ICE who paid a dearer price at the border, on some trumped up law and order. God, how long before they’re past tense! To decency, what an offense. We must stop this rhetoric of slop from all the fans of this icky man coiled round 1600 Pennsylvania, a friend to that traitor Kanye, a wack-job so selfish, his ideas are hellish! This is my screed. We must be freed of our dark ages, medieval, before a violent upheaval. We must not surrender to this Maximal Offender. Life has a balance sheet. There can be NO DEFEAT! Yeah, I’ll rant and rave until my grave! Yeah, I said it, you haven’t misread it. You don’t like it? Not gonna retype it; don’t really care; still got my hair. silver foxy gray, and no, I don’t crochet, but hope you gotta sense of humor cuz I’m an okay, boomer; should have told you sooner I’m a patriotic crooner, singing as a fag who loves his starry striped flag. So my fellow LGBT or Q, help avoid an American coup. Honor Dr. Fauci, and Ruth Bader G, notorious in her collar, give them a shout, a holler. I know adulting is hard; we all got scarred. But today evil lurks amidst nefarious networks. Not being dramatic just don’t want no leader autocratic. So Gens X, Y and Z drop your ennui; On November 3rd let your voice be heard. VOTE! You, me, US! Rid America of its tangerine pus! Come the autumnal leafy brown let us bid farewell to this clown and with spring’s green let us set a scene of justice, letting flower the best in us. OKAY, I’m done, I’ve had my say, but I ain’t no geriatric cliché. This queer is here NOW… peace out. ciao.  

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Rick Kitzman

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