The recent allegations involving Bryon Noem, husband of former Secretary of Homeland Security Kirsti Noem are back in the headlines since text messages from his exchange with a sex worker have allegedly been revealed. Reports originating from various outlets suggest that Bryon Noem allegedly engaged in explicit digital exchanges with a dominant partner, in which he reportedly expressed a desire to explore a transgender identity under the name “Crystal,” specifically asking to be referred to as a “trans bimbo slut.”
For many advocates within the LGBTQ+ community, the reports represent more than just a private scandal; they highlight a perceived disconnect between the Noem administration’s public actions and the First Gentleman’s alleged private interests. Governor Kristi Noem has been a vocal proponent of laws that limit gender-affirming care and restrict the participation of transgender athletes. Critics argue that if the allegations are true, they reveal a double standard where those in power may privately explore the fluidities of gender while publicly supporting policies that make such exploration difficult or legalistic for the general public. “The issue isn’t what happens behind closed doors,” reads a comment on social media, “it’s the legislative environment being built for everyone else while those doors are shut.”
The language used in the reported messages has also drawn scrutiny for its “bimbo” and “slut” tropes, which some folks argue reflect a fetishized view of transgender women. The exchange also included Byron Noem claiming he could “see us leaving our spouses for each other” and requests to be dominated by a big-breasted woman while being seen as one.
While shaming cross-dressing, gender play, or trans women is never OK, the public outcry against Byron Noem centers the hypocrisy that clearly occurs behind closed doors with many of the folks who condemn transness and queerness on a daily basis.
