Let’s set the scene: a trans man at the very beginning of his transition, seeking affirming care, sitting in a waiting room surrounded by posters that do not reflect his life whatsoever. The smiling mothers, the cis-centric messaging, the pastel reminders to schedule your next “well-woman exam”—all of it reminding him that this place was not built with him in mind. It starts with the name. He gets called in by his dead name, loudly, in front of every stranger in that room. First, this outs him publicly, and second, it sends him into fight-or-flight because his safety suddenly feels questionable. A simple appointment now becomes a battlefield of microaggressions.
Once the nurse is in charge, she invasively and monotonously asks if he is menstruating or on birth control as she checks boxes on a clipboard that is very obviously the women’s intake list. Not only does that checklist contradict his identity, but it also reinforces the harmful idea that his gender is irrelevant and his body is the only thing they see. And oh boy, if he says he is not on birth control, here comes the big lecture—how it’s better for “women’s bodies,” how there could be an accidental pregnancy (like you’re going to catch it like COVID), blah, blah, blah. Everything said in that room so far has actively chipped away at his dignity. We haven’t even seen the doctor who supposedly specializes in affirming care, yet the system has already tried to erase the identity he is finally confident standing in.
This experience alone could traumatize a trans person into avoiding doctors altogether. For some, it can be worse: pushing them into unhealthy mental states just to get the medications they need to feel human again. This long-term discomfort around doctor visits puts LGBTQ+ people at a higher risk for disease, disability, and preventable health crises simply because they aren’t comfortable getting constant care.
Now is the time for reform within healthcare to be aware of these sensitive issues. Yes, there is medical necessity behind some of these questions, but being pressured to be or do something you aren’t or don’t believe in is the exact boundary we steer clear from crossing in so many other areas of life—so why not when it comes to health and wellbeing too? The person who knows the most about someone is the person living in that body. When doctors standardize pressure based on outdated norms, they create unnecessary harm, and with any further pushing, they turn routine appointments into emotionally unsafe situations.
Denver is a place of curiosity and discovery, so it’s natural to have many options for everything you experience—from food to shopping to recreation. Colorado has a plethora of variety in many ways, and the healthcare gap for the LGBTQ+ community isn’t lacking either. You could go to Denver Health, but not all employees hold accepting views. You could go to Achieve Health if you need basic general care. If you’re physically disabled, the Chanda Center for Health is incredible for physical rehabilitation and holistic support. There’s UCHealth for broader and more structured care, Planned Parenthood with an emphasis on reproductive health and historically female-centered clientele, and STRIDE, which focuses on whole-body healthy living and accessible community medicine rather than just gender-related issues.
But within all these options, there are different values, different priorities, and different office cultures—and that impacts the entire experience. The one universal thing doctor’s offices, dentists, eye doctors, and even everyday coffee shops can do is have uncomfortable conversations about how to treat these people. Saying “treat them like everyone else” is not enough to unlearn the narratives fed to professionals from childhood. It’s not enough to break long-held habits. We need to open the floor and advertise meetings to the individuals these decisions impact, the people who live with this discomfort every day. The source—the lived experience—is always where the best information comes from. Trust me, I’m a journalist. It’s my job to find sources.
We need intake forms designed with gender variance in mind. We need to talk openly about the pressure nurses put behind care that doesn’t pertain to a gender-variant person’s lifestyle. Clinics need to prioritize relational care, not just efficiency, because every time efficiency becomes the priority, the most important details are overlooked. And if you involve the people who are suffering, we can all work together to bridge the gaps as soon as we see them.
Denver is great at coming together in community with love for one another. Let’s all hold the hands of our LGBTQ+ people so they don’t have to brave these waters alone, because they are dark, murky, and full of piranhas—but teamwork, shared struggle, and connection through that struggle is what builds a boat strong enough for all of us to stand on.
Photo courtesy of Unsplash
