Poet Catherine Merritt’s Debut: Gut the Ghost

Along the bustling street of Sante Fe Drive is a lesbian-owned and managed bookstore, Petals and Pages. Manager, Catherine Merritt (she/her) is a writer and poet. Her debut poetry collection has recently been published, Gut the Ghost. OFM had the opportunity to interview her on her experience of both writing and managing and how, just maybe, those two paths were meant to coexist as one on purpose. 

You can pick up your copy of Gut the Ghost online or in person. If you haven’t been to the store, I highly recommend a visit. Take a look around at the beautiful art, find a book that excites you, tell a friend about it. You won’t regret supporting your local lesbian-owned and managed bookstore.

What inspired you to start writing poetry, and what made now the right time to publish your first book?

Poetry has been a lifelong emotional outlet for me, but for a long time, I considered it merely a hobby. My poems felt akin to diary entries, and I wouldn’t dare share them with anyone. When I began to pursue writing more professionally, I looked at all of these poems and fragments and realized there was a story here that I needed to tell. I toyed with the idea of publishing a book for a long time, and eventually I realized if I didn’t do it now I wouldn’t do it at all, so I finally decided to take the leap. 

How does your experience managing a bookstore influence your writing—or vice versa?

Managing Petals & Pages has been the dream of a lifetime, and being in the book world has given me an inside look at the publishing process and introduced me to some really incredible writers and authors. Being in this industry has pushed me to take myself seriously as a writer and to view writing as the craft and skill that it is. 

Can you share a bit about the themes or emotions your poetry explores?

My poetry explores themes of queerness and lesbian identity, trauma and healing, and, of course, love. I am such a sucker for a good love poem, and I find they come the most naturally to me as a writer. I also find myself writing about the more difficult parts of being a human and all of the feelings and challenges that come alongside that. Poetry is such a vulnerable medium because there are no characters or fantasy worlds to hide behind, it’s just you on the page for everyone to see. But something I think is so special about poetry is that everyone takes from it what they need, and 10 people could interpret one poem in 10 different ways, so it’s kind of a mutual sharing of vulnerability between the poet and the reader in that way. Poetry is like this special, sacred secret. 

Is there a poem in the collection that feels especially personal or pivotal to you? Why?

The title piece, “Gut the Ghost,” is definitely the most personal piece in the whole collection. It’s a prose piece that began as a writing exercise in a workshop I took a few years ago, and morphed into one of the most honest and vulnerable things I’ve ever written. The collection as a whole tells the story of an emotionally abusive relationship I was in, and for a long time I held a lot of shame alongside that experience. I didn’t think anyone would believe my experience, or if they did, I didn’t think they would care to read about it. It wasn’t until I read In The Dream House, a memoir by Carmen Maria Machado that details her experience in a queer abusive relationship, that I felt truly seen. Reading that book gave me the confidence to pursue publishing Gut the Ghost in the hopes that it finds the people who need it most—the people who need to be seen and believed.

What was the writing and editing process like for you, balancing it with running the store?

The writing and editing process were two very different experiences for me. Many of these poems were written shortly after ending an abusive relationship, so they felt quite raw and cathartic. Revisiting them during the editing process was illuminating and made me realize how much I had grown and healed in the time since these poems had been written. I have a very talented cohort of writers from a previous workshop who were kind enough to take a first look at a draft, and my partner Dylah, who is an incredible poet and writer, edited my work with such care. I worked with the team at Jack Wild Publishing who were instrumental in the formatting and layout of the book. Balancing writing and publishing with managing the store and being a parent certainly came with its challenges, but I’m so proud of this collection for finally being out in the world. It feels very surreal. 

Did the bookstore community (customers, staff, local writers) play any role in your journey as a poet?

As soon as I announced I was working on this collection, I was flooded with support from the community. One of my favorite aspects of Petals & Pages is the community we’ve cultivated here, some of whom have become close friends, and it felt so wonderful to have that kind of encouragement going into creating the book. I’m not sure I would have taken the leap to publish this collection had it not been for Petals & Pages. 

You can find Catherine Merritt and Petals and Pages on Instagram: @catherineinwords @petalsandpagesofdenver.

Cover photo by Becky Duffyhill. Follow her on Instagram at @beckyduffyhill.creative.