Risk to Reward: How to Connect and Cope Post-COVID

It has officially been a little over two years since the March 2020 lockdown. We went from very sociable and intertwined lives to a state of physical isolation. We were apart from people outside of our households, workplaces, and social groups. As the virus evolved, we were in our recommended groups of six or less while socially distancing at least six feet apart. 

The last two years with COVID have completely changed our way of connecting. For a lot of us, this has meant everything from hours of endless Zoom calls, missed holidays with loved ones, and endless periods of grief. Making new connections overall looks a lot different these days. With many spaces requiring vaccination, there has been a new standard of not only sharing STI testing statuses with lovers but also vaccine status. This makes physical connections a little less frightening and conversations regarding physical boundaries more common. If someone is apprehensive to take a COVID test or be truthful about being vaxxed, testing positive for COVID, etc., how can I expect them to be transparent about other things?

One of the main guiding points of connecting since the start of the pandemic has been weighing out the risk factors. This has been a useful guiding tool for me personally, and I apply it to all parts of my life. Because of the risk-to-reward style of connecting, the connections I make now are so much more intentional. I make sure that if I am spending physical or emotional time with someone, the risk factors are considered.

During that initial time when everything was virtual and more online communities were being built, I poured myself into my digital spaces. My “internet friends” became an integral part of my life, and many of those connections, I still maintain today. I tapped into my Instagram community and found like-minded people who lived all over. 

There are many ways to get to know someone before they are in your physical presence. I’ve grown to become a fan of audio messages over text messages, scheduling FaceTime dates to watch movies, and finding virtual ways to share time and space. These are also ways to stay connected if you aren’t able to see each other often. This baseline of connection has helped me navigate new connections platonically and romantically ever since.  

My first few pandemic dates were spent socially distanced at the park, six feet apart while masked, without affection. I remember having to decide if I should be in the same car as someone who wanted to take me on a hike. It took some time to get comfortable with meeting someone who lived further away. In 2021, I decided to visit a woman who lived in another state. I met her by slidin’ into her DMs during the lockdown in 2020 and had no idea that relationship would blossom the way it did. After keeping in touch for almost a year, we decided that, COVID willing, we would meet. 

We both worked in jobs where we interfaced with the public, and there was no vaccine at the time available to the public. Not only was it the first time I went out of state to see someone, but it was also a huge risk factor. “What if we give each other COVID? Should we wear masks?” Being able to hold another person close at a time when a lot of us were touch starved was beautiful and scary all at the same time.

I look back on those moments, grateful for the progress we’ve made and that vaccines have become available. COVID does still impact our lives, those around us, and the connections we make. Two years in, it is still important to check in regarding physical boundaries in all aspects.