Panel: As mainstream venues become more accepting, will there still be a need for gay bars to stay LGBT-focused?

Pieter Tolsma, Keo Frazier and George K. Gramer, Jr. weigh in on this week’s question.

Pieter Tolsma

I had a colleague come to me once and bemoan the death of the gay bar. He said there was a time when one would never have seen a women, lesbian or otherwise, in a gay bar and if a straight man came inside it was only because he was “str8,” straight-acting only, or otherwise not ready to accept his desire for other men. This colleague was angry and disappointed at the Denver gay bar scene and said he would not go out anymore because of it.

Bring on the death of that gay bar. Any sort of establishment that cuts along the lines of what my coworker wanted is no place that I care to ever attend and must be one of the first things to go before equality can be achieved. If the LGBT community wants acceptance it must give acceptance and that means throwing the doors open and letting everyone inside.

I believe there will always be a place where minority individuals gather when they want to share their special challenges. There is nothing wrong with that. When this place turns its shoulder on the communities that try to participate and revel in their identity and flavor, there is a problem. We need to love ourselves and our community identity and that means sharing it. If that means our bars are popular for everyone, it means we did a good job.

Pieter Tolsma is program coordinator of Denver PIQUE, a sexual health and social support program for gay/bi men in Denver.

Keo Frazier

The idea of discrimination and separate but equal needs to end and the groups to end it are the ones most discriminated against. It seems grand, but in fact it is simple: it is a simple
notion of us no longer identifying each other by our gender roles and outward appearance.

Gay establishments, straight establishments, green people, blue people — enough already! Aren’t you tired of trying to guess whether you can enter a place or not while holding hands with your lover or best friend? Aren’t you tired of wondering if you can behave a certain way because someone else might be watching? I am. I am exhausted with the notion that different is bad. I am exasperated that we do not celebrate each other. I am disappointed that we still haven’t learned to judge the content of one’s character first.

All establishments should be open, accepting. All people should be loving, giving. Where does that begin? With you, me, us.

We will never ever progress with this notion of separate but equal lingering in the background. I suppose I am challenging you as gay, straight, green and blue to choose to be better, choose to celebrate differences and choose to be open. This means that we all can go anywhere at any time and behave as we choose.
I accept this challenge, do you?

Keo Frazier is a local entrepreneurial and business leader, and the fearless founder of KEOS Marketing Group.

George K. Gramer, Jr.

People are people – so the answer is yes. There will always be a need. Acceptance by society does not help find you a special person for your life; it doesn’t even guarantee you a hook-up.

In an LGBT establishment, you generally know the sexual preference of the clientele, and you generally know their interests based on the characteristics of the venue. You don’t have to worry about hitting on a straight metrosexual the way you would at a place like the Denver Art Museum, Denver Botanic Gardens, or Denver Zoo — all of which exude a gay-friendly atmosphere, but where we cannot easily identify the LGBT among the patrons.

There needs to be a magnet — whether for type (leather, lipstick, bear, drag, twink) or in general — there needs to be a place that provides a comfortable, safe locale where LGBT can gather and share and get to know one another and perhaps go on from there.

How could I ever go to one of the hotel bars in downtown Denver and expect to meet and easily identify a gay patron? Even if the entire nation were to become “more accepting,” I would still want and need a safety net in which to explore social interactivity with other gay men. Gay venues provide that opportunity.

Iowa native George Gramer, Jr. is the president of the Colorado Log Cabin Republicans.