OFM’s Ask a Coach with Ingomu :: May 2023
Welcome to Ask a Coach, where Ingomu coaches answer your questions about life, work, wellness, or matters of the soul. Share your question with us at coaches@ingomu.com, and we’ll answer them here.
What is the difference between normal emotional experiences and mental health disorders?
– Lana M.
It’s a great question! As all questions are. Keep in mind (and heart) that the answer to this question largely hinges on how one chooses to define “normal” and “dis-order.” “Normal” assumes there’s an average or an expected state, that being “emotional” in this case. And if that were true, I would never sign up for America’s average emotional state. But that’s just me.
“Normal” may also be defined as docile, obedient, silent, or agreeable, and depending on the situation, some of those may actually lead to worst-case scenarios. If the desire for normalcy is to belong to the majority, then sick and broken should also be on the menu. My typical approach is to observe the majority from a distance, and then to decide for myself, to turn around and do the polar opposite. It’s worked out really well for me and many others, so far.
“Dis-Order” on the other hand is much more honest, similar to accepting a reality of “Dis-Ease”, because it’s comparing ease and flow, to discord and blockage, orderly to disorderly, neat and organized versus scattered and disorganized. One may see a “dis-order” as very temporary, while another may see it as permanent and fixed—Either way, both of them are spot-on in their deduction. If one is determined to have a dis-order diagnosed, thousands of professionals are more than willing to dish those out, but a deeper question may lend even more clarity moving forward. What is it that I think is out of order? And why do I think that? What might the perfect “order” look and feel like for me? Food for thought.
– Coach Bentley Murdock
A few of my employees suffer from stress and anxiety. What is the best way to support someone who is struggling with these issues at work?
– Charley H.
The fact that you are asking this question is a sign of good leadership. You are paying attention to those who work for you, and you have the desire to support them through their struggles. I suggest directing your question to each of your employees individually. By doing this, you will be sharing your concern and desire to be supportive. You will also likely find out that support for one employee may look quite different than support for another. Depending on your work environment, some practical solutions may include allowing your employees to listen to music while they work, creating space for them to take short breaks throughout the day, or adjusting project deadlines. Ultimately, you want to find a solution that will help alleviate their stress and anxiety while keeping things productive and flowing at work. The conversation itself will go a long way in helping your employees feel supported.
– Coach Sara Jackson
I suffer from ADHD, and it can affect my work negatively. Are there things I can do to manage this, especially as it relates to my attention span and hyperactivity?
– Angus R.
When properly appreciated, ADHD is a superpower! You are amazing! A Ferrari brain makes you a great thinker. You may enjoy repetitive, mundane tasks that others don’t want to do. You have high energy, and you keep going after everyone else stops. Whenever possible, match your job duties to your superpowers so that you can work with them rather than against them. When you have to do tasks that challenge your attention span or energy level, try doing them while stimulating multiple senses at the same time (movement is key, but also use smell and touch). Chew gum; wiggle your toes; count your teeth with your tongue; put perfume on your wrist; sit on an exercise ball. Try many things until you hit on something that works for you.
– Coach Jen Nash, AFC
My brother has a very addictive personality (alcohol and pot), especially when he goes into a period of depression. How can I best support him through this?
– Chris O.
You can best support your brother by asking him to open up to you about what his inner world is like when he is triggered to drink, triggered to use cannabis as a drug instead of a medicine, triggered into depression. Then you just need to listen and ask questions from a curious place. You don’t need to fix what he’s going through, and you don’t need to help him. If you seek simply to understand what it’s like to be him in those moments—by listening and by asking curious, even fascinated, questions—you’ll be giving your brother the support he needs to help himself. It may be a very new paradigm for you as a sibling, but what I’m suggesting is a personal growth way to have faith in your brother. I wish him, and you, clarity and freedom.
– Coach Marshall Zweig
Here at Ingomu, we uplift humankind by making a positive difference in the lives of many. Via the Ingomu app, we provide holistic and equitable coaching in the areas of life, soul, wellness, and work. Coaching for everyone because everyone matters.
Learn more at OFM.ingomu.com.
