8 Autumn Ailments … and some fairly simple fixes

“I hate the cold!” laments a buddy, zipping his hoodie. “I always get sick when the cold comes in.” Well, yeah … this time of year is good for that. But armed with a little know-how, you can thwart some of that icky stuff.

Influenza

Flu season and fall go together like Apple and fanboy. Get immunized in short order, my friends, or from September through April you might be picking up a fun case of debilitating fever, cough, sore throat, and muscle
aches. Aces!

The Cold

Decreasing temperatures contribute to weakened immune systems — good study, CDC — and the common cold is easy to catch. If your buddy is sneezing and blowing his face off into a Kleenex, bid his ass “Bye, Felicia” and come back in a week.

Allergies

Think you’re finally escaping allergies ’cause the blooms are calming down? Pssh! Outdoor allergies suck in the fall, too, and we have ragweed, dust mites, and mold to thank. Tip: Stay indoors during morning hours and get some good meds to treat the symptoms.

Arthritis

Uncle Arthur likes to pop in when it’s cold and damp outside, the rat fink. (“Dat low barometric pressure, tho,” he chides.) Keep that fireplace roaring and tell the kids who laugh at your Snuggie to kick rocks.

Sinusitis

That pain and swelling in the lining of your sinuses? Amazing stuff, right? It gets worse in cold, damp weather. A saline flush will help relieve some of the symptoms, but inhaling steam over a hot pot of water is downright heaven.

Raynaud’s Phenomenon

Really cold temperatures can cause numbness and pain in your fingers and toes, as blood vessels headed toward your extremities constrict. The pain actually worsens with stress, so do yourself a solid and get some thermal gloves, socks, and Xanax. (Just kidding on the last part, but do try and relax if you feel Old Man Raynaud kickin’ up.)

Asthma

You know what’s great for an asthma attack? Cold air, allergies, leaves, and campfires! If you’re not a big fan of oxygen and the ability to breathe properly, be sure to leave your inhaler at home during all the bonfire parties your friends throw!

Seasonal affective disorder

When I first moved here, I made the mistake of complaining about the overbearing sunshine. (It’s so much brighter here than it is in Georgia!) “You’ll miss it come winter,” my buddy Ryan deadpanned. Indeed, the cold, dark weather brings a case of the blues for certain folks, so (for them) the winter doldrums means mild depression. I’m sorry, y’all. Maybe some edibles will brighten your mood.