Words: Say it like you mean it

I have a confession: I love words. Words are fun. In my family, a lot of the games we played were word games; Scrabble and Boggle were two of our favorites and the car we’d make up tongue twisters. I love words about words – onomatopoeia is one of my favorites. I love the words it refers to because they’re fun to say: buzz, moo, etc. And I like saying onomatopoeia.

I love the idea of being able to say something several different ways just by changing the words that you use. Susan sat slovenly sideways, sipping said soda, surreptitiously squinting, scrutinizing Sarah’s strength, stamina. Supporters seemed sublimely self-absorbed, since sporting started. Come on, you gotta admit that’s a lot more fun than  “Susan lounged in her chair drinking a soda while she watched Sarah compete. Onlookers seemed thankfully in their own head since the game started.”

Words have meaning, not to be confused with intent. I often find myself in hot water because I take people at their words, when often that’s not what they meant. The phrase “say what you mean and mean what you say?” couldn’t be more true.

Women fall into this trap often. I think it is because we are often socialized to only say “nice” things and get called a “bitch” if we say exactly what we mean. I think this is because we fail to use all of the words available – we can say exactly what we mean without being mean or hateful if we bone up on our vocabularies.

Words are continually changing. Take idioms: “A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.” Who says that anymore? Some stand the test of time: “a chip on your shoulder,” “a dime a dozen,” “a drop in the bucket.” You know exactly what I’m saying when I use these phrases.

Now, let’s take the word “family.” They other day, my niece posted something on Facebook about Audra McDonald.  For those of you that don’t know, she’s family. When I used it as a comment on my niece’s post, she thought I meant we were related. I forget that straight people don’t always know what we’re talking about. “Twink,” “gender non-conforming,” “pansexual,” “lesbian–identified bisexual,” there are just so many words about how we define ourselves that it’s no wonder straight people can’t keep up.

Here’s are some of my favorite words – you won’t find them all in the dictionary, not even the Oxford Unabridged on the pedestal in the library.

Craptastic: one of the most descriptive words I’ve heard. Asshat: makes me giggle every time. Douche: not a verb but a noun, and one of my favorites. Fuck: one of the most versatile words in the English language; one of the most brilliantly–acted scenes ever was on The Wire and they only used that word. Wanker: A polite(ish) way of calling someone a dick. Bifurcate: I look for ways to use it when someone is being an asshat. Their look of confusion is a great equalizer. Try it; just look it up before you do or you’ll look like a douche! Tool: towards a person, explains exactly how you feel. Fellowship: a church word, one of the friendliest. I like words that are used to bring people together.

I would love to hear some of your favorite words. But if you’re going to tell me, say it like you mean it.