Who Doesn’t Like a Happy Ending?

I’ve always loved a happy ending. A perfect evening of theater for me includes a great meal and laughter, which is why at one point, my ambition was to work in dinner theater—really, with my actual Bachelor of Arts in Theatre.

Note the “re” instead of “er.” Because I was an artiste!

I think that’s one of the big reasons that I focused on humor as a writer. I love giggling and making people chuckle. That moment when the laughter takes hold of your body, when  you can barely breathe and start snorting and farting and you’re afraid that you’ll pee your pants, and maybe you even do. That is my perfect moment.

In high school and college, a dark side seemed romantic. Tragic endings run at an emotional depth not usually found in comedy. The beauty of that finality rewards us, both as artists portraying the moment and audience members swept away by the story.

Plus, I look good in black.

So, when Stephanie suggested watching West Side Story this past weekend, I said OK because the brilliant music, insightful words, graceful dancing, transcendent singing, and the whole production looked so gorgeous.

And I knew the ending. I was prepared for the ending. I could deal with the ending.

Not so much my mother-in-law. As the movie ended, she sat staring at the screen for a moment and then said, “I thought this was based on Romeo and Juliet?” She looked at both of us in disbelief.

Is it still spoiling if the play is over 500 years old and studied in a wide variety of academic settings?

“It is. Except in the original version, they both die.”

“I hate musicals.” She didn’t say that, but I know it was a thought. She never has been a fan. Only the knowledge that this film was up for an Academy Award kept her in her chair. And really, if we hadn’t all been seduced by the overall beauty of the production, we probably wouldn’t have turned it on.

Tragic love stories make me angry because the main characters are so STUPID.

Get the hell out of Dodge, Maria and Tony!

Hey there, Juliet! Ever think about giving Romeo a clue about your plans?

Rose, you wretched bitch! There’s plenty of room for Jack on that floating board.

And what the hell, Grandma Rose? Tossing that necklace into the ocean? Those jewels could have put the grandkids through college!

I am, indeed, one of those people who hates Titanic. In fact, if James Cameron could give me back that three hours of my life, I’d surely appreciate it.

Right now, in the swirling uncertainty of war and disease and hate, my soul cannot take these tragic love stories or the dark horror of Gotham City or complex murder mysteries that highlight the tragedy inherent in those dark deeds or the rejection and violence that pervades any dramatic movie about queerness or race.

I desire a flight of fantasy. I crave action with tons of special effects, very little gore, quippy heroes, strong women, and spaceships. I dive into stories where I get to experience BIPOC joy and rumble in the love of cultures different from mine. I hunger to spend time in a world where every queer person is accepted whole-heartedly by their family and community. And more than accepted, but treated as normal.

Is that too much to ask?

Along with all of the other awfulness in the world, I know we’ve all been experiencing financial hardships. And so you won’t be surprised that early Monday morning, I awoke from a nightmare with the sure knowledge that I was going to lose my home and get stuck in the country without the gas to get to town and have to get a job working at the grocery store (which, WHAT?! I mean, I guess I could do one or the other?). This panicked hyperventilating of the soul lasted until I realized that I just needed a happy ending.

So I returned the half-read, well-written horror novel to the library (Seriously. WTF was I thinking?) and resolved to open the romance due next week. And other holds began tumbling in as well: the cozy mystery set in Georgian England, a fantasy centered in a steampunk Egypt, and …

The final Murderbot novella!

Now, after all I’ve just said, you may be thinking, “That can’t be right! Did she say Murderbot?”

If you are a sci-fi fan with a special place in your heart for sentient AI with a side of snark, you will LOOOOOOOVE Murderbot. Murderbot explores their newfound freedom and entertaining media as they battle corporate greed run amok. Murderbot is there to save the day!

I love watching corporate ass get kicked. Must be why I’m addicted to Leverage re-runs, too.

These joyful resolutions restore my hope and energize me to move forward in the world.

And the fact that their occurrence is rarer in real life than portrayed on the screen makes them all the more precious to me. Real life gives me enough tragedy.

Show me a happy ending.