We all have to pay for our prince charming

Dear Brent, 

There are times where I feel paying an escort for sex is a totally a good option for me — I get so tired of spending time and money on trying to connect with people for a relationship when most of the time nothing good comes out of it. I think that it may just be a better use of my time and money to pay someone or satisfy myself. 

From my perspective, we all pay for sex in some form or another. The phrase “there is no such thing as a free lunch,” describes that there will always be a price to pay in almost everything we do. Going to the gym costs money, time and, when we are doing it right, it really makes us sore. Getting a better job takes dedication, possibly more school, and maybe a little kissing up.

There is always a cost associated with trying to make connections with people, regardless if it’s for friendship, sex or a search for the love of our lives. The costs could entail much more than just the financial aspects of going to movies or grabbing a bite, but also time, energy and effort to work on connecting with people. Many devote time to profile sites or dating services. Hours can be spent cruising, many times leaving us feeling empty after a bad encounter, getting ditched, feeling rejected, or just knowing that the search will pick back up soon after our last encounter is over.

It definitely sounds like your attempts to connect with people in social, romantic, or sexual ways has caused a huge drain on you financially and emotionally. Take some time and think about your end goals for why you want to connect with people. This can drive your actions and attitudes.

Be careful that you don’t give up just because there are challenges. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither is your social life. You may need to take some time and evaluate how and why you are doing certain things in the never-ending search to find whatever you want. Certain techniques can be more effective than others and doing the same things over and over can cause frustration, but also can leave you feeling defeated, lonely and miserable. You may need to switch up some methods and work on developing new skills or perspectives.

I’m not sure if you’re actually considering hiring someone for sex or companionship, but there are lots of guys for hire and sites to help you find them. My primary concern would be for what your true desire is. If you’re looking for a connection with someone based around true interest and deeper bonding, paying someone to fulfill that role will not connect you to that honest Prince Charming gazing into your eyes for longer than you can afford to pay him.