To the drag cave, Batman!

Our drag dungeon in Gaypleton is expanding. It’s not because I am running out of space for my 22 wigs, 32 purses and racks and racks of dresses and costumes.

It’s because Mr. Waste is getting back into the world of drag – as Lushus La’Rell. It’s been a few years since Lushus hit the clubs, performing in show fundraisers. In 2002 she carried the title of Miss Colorado Gay Rodeo Association. Lushus took up about a quarter of our basement back then. Over the years, Mr. Waste gifted his drag to various queens until Lushus could fit into two small plastic storage tubs.

Not anymore. Lushus has slowly been reclaiming drag dungeon territory. First it was a clothing rack. Then wigs began to perch about, hanging like bats from the ceiling. Sparkly jewels began to light up the dark corners of the drag cave. I am certain I heard something shuffling about the other day, muttering, “My precious.”

This drag expansion is all part of a larger plan for Lushus to run next April for empress of the Imperial Court of the Rocky Mountain Empire. This past December she hosted a Sunday brunch where she announced her intention to run for empress in front of friends, co-workers and members of Colorado’s U.S. Congressional Delegation. Lushus turned in her application right there on the spot. And now we wait for the ICRME board review to see if she gets approved to run. That won’t happen until some time in March, which gives Lushus plenty of time to tunnel more space in our basement.

Having two drag queens in the house does pose challenges. If it’s a night where both of us are going to be in drag, we need to coordinate dog walking of Puppy Waste One and Two before we don our lashes and lipstick. Walking a dog in makeup might frighten the neighbors, but it’s the stilettos combined with pulling leashes that will take you down.

Thanks goodness we have one more than one bathroom. Florescent pinks and greens do not mix with the earth tones of a Latina. One bathroom is constantly covered in glitter while the second has a perpetual dusting of tan-colored foundation.

When only one of us is in drag and going out for the evening, the “boy” handles all the drag luggage and garment bags. But when we are both in drag, there’s no one available to play drag valet for the other. So it’s every drag queen for herself.

I imagine Batman and Robin had to deal with similar issues. “Holy harnesses, Batman. I have no room for my green leotards with all your leather masks taking up the entire bat cave!”

While not as noble as fighting crime, drag does allow us to raise money for so many Denver charitable organizations. And that’s why we do it. I guess that makes us a drag dynamic duo.