To love thy neighbor

By Cole Parke

My first trip to Colorado was in 1998.  I was traveling by bus from San Antonio, Texas along with 23 other awkward adolescents from St. Francis Episcopal Church for our youth group’s annual ski trip. Fourteen years later I find myself rolling through the Rockies on another sort of bus.

In many ways little has changed – our forward momentum is fueled by diesel and caffeine, bellies are begrudgingly filled with fast food and truck stop delicacies, sleeping bodies contorted into uncomfortable shapes on the ride, those who can’t sleep taking compromising pictures of their snoozing comrades. My Discman has been replaced by an iPod but the Spice Girls are still my jam. And though I no longer think that my life will be over if I don’t get to play solo French horn in my next band concert, I’m still pretty awkward.

Seventeen of us are sprawled among 52 seats. We’re participating in the Soulforce Equality Ride – a two-month social justice bus tour dedicated to nonviolently confronting the political and spiritual oppression of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer people. Traveling across the country, we seek to engage religious schools and institutions to discuss policies and practices that discriminate against LGBTQ and allied people.

When we rolled into Colorado Springs in early April, we’d already been on the road six weeks. As our lungs slowly acclimated to the altitude, we launched into an intensive week that would test our hearts and spirits even more. We visited New Life Church – a non-affirming megachurch in Colorado Springs – studied scripture with Pastor Ted Haggard, met with members of Focus on the Family’s leadership team, engaged with Young Life Ministries, and coordinated a direct action at Colorado Christian University.

This work is a sort of consensual masochism. Throughout history, LGBTQ people have experienced untold amounts of violence – physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, sadly often at the hands of Christians. LGBTQ people are told and told again, “We love you, but not your sin.” It equates to being welcome at the table but only if we bring an incomplete version of who we understand ourselves to be. Rather than protest or negotiate, most simply walk away.

I’ve been tempted to do the same, but I can’t.  Regardless of the hurt inflicted and despite my own theological reservations, Christianity is part of me. No matter how much I’ve tried to distance myself, church bells still sound like home. The radical liberating message of Jesus continues to compel my heart, mind and soul.

Soulforce is grounded in non-violence, so much of our time is devoted it’s study and practice. One prominent lesson is the notion that freedom isn’t the opposite of slavery; community is. If we free ourselves from oppression only to wind up isolated, we haven’t gained anything. Instead, we must work toward a future that embraces all – the oppressed and the oppressors – because if even one is oppressed we are all victims. We all suffer when a community is fractioned, and we all benefit when that community is made whole.

It can be easy to simply demonize those who don’t support equality and inclusion, but if we truly want lasting change, we need to recognize that those who oppose us are our neighbors, and whether our love/identity is affirmed or not, they will be a part of our lives. If we refuse to reach out to them, we’re only perpetuating the divide that has already caused too much pain.

Focus on the Family still refuses to celebrate queer families; Colorado Christian University still believes that the “homosexual lifestyle” is sinful; Young Life still doesn’t allow LGBTQ people to serve in leadership roles. There’s still work to be done here, but I firmly believe change is possible.

Change begins with relationship, and relationship is irrevocable – I will never again think of Focus on the Family without thinking about the vice president of communications’ warm smile and compassionate eyes, and I have to believe that he will never forget the day that he ate lunch with 17 Soulforce Equality Riders and heard their stories, their hopes, and their dreams.  In 1998 I left Colorado with sore muscles and bruised hip. This year I leave with a hopeful heart and an unshaken belief that God loves and affirms LGBTQ people, just the way they are. May that message be heard in the hearts and minds of all God’s people.

Cole Parke is a volunteer activist that rides with the advocacy activist group, Soulforce.