TikTok Dad and Wedding Planner José Rolón
A nuptial maestro for almost a decade, José Rolón has made a name for himself as one of the top rising wedding planners in New York City, thanks to his impeccable planning, design aesthetic, and chill vibe. He is frequently sought for his expertise, and his work has been featured in several publications including Martha Stewart, Essence Magazine, and New York Weddings.
In October, Rolón joined Tara Lipinski and Jove Meyer for Crackle’s new streaming series Wedding Talk.
Additionally, Rolón is known for his hilarious TikTok videos. Living as a single father in Brooklyn Heights with his three children, he has learned how to keep his cool under pressure. Thanks to videos like his super popular “Do You Have a Mom?” clip (with 2.4 million views), he now has hundreds of thousands of followers who can’t get enough of his funny, moving, and inspiring videos.
This has led to Rolón becoming one of TikTok’s 2021 Latinx Trailblazers and the first gay dad to be on the cover of Parents Latina Magazine. He took some time to talk more about his wedding business and parenting with OFM.
Can you begin by telling us what viewers can expect from the new Crackle streaming series Wedding Talk that you are co-hosting?
Wedding Talk is this really incredible new wedding show on Crackle. It’s through Chicken Soup for the Soul Network, and Tara Lipinski, who many people know as a figure skating gold medalist, she’s the main host, and I am one of her experts, along with Jove Meyer. Viewers can expect to see some incredible weddings from all around the world and how these beautiful couples navigated through COVID. What we do is, we showcase their wedding videos, and we get to talk about them. It’s a fun show, so I hope that people enjoy it. It’s visual, fun, entertaining, and informative.
When did you first know you wanted to be a wedding planner?
I knew that I wanted to be a wedding planner when I got married. It sounds a bit cliche, but I really loved the process of planning my own wedding. I was a video editor previously, so I was ready to be a storyteller in a different way, and that’s how I ended up becoming an event planner. I started working at a venue, and then I launched my own business in 2013.
I love that you make it a priority to truly understand your clients. What can a couple look forward to when working with you, and what are some of the extra benefits Jose Rolón Events offers to ensure their special day is extra special?
One of the benefits to working with me and my team is that there are no boundaries as to what type of wedding you want to have. There are no rules, and we don’t necessarily always have to pay attention to tradition. Whether it’s how you want to walk down the aisle or if you want to have a sit-down or floating dinner, it really has to speak to who you are as a couple.
I know there are many planners that sort of have a niche or a certain look; they often make it about themselves, but with me, it’s very important that I make it about our couples and what they want. Additionally, each one of my couples get an automatic three one-and-a-half-hour dance lesson to make sure that they look good because there’s nothing worse than seeing a couple sway side to side for five minutes (laughs).
What is one of the most memorable weddings you have ever worked on?
I would say probably for personal reasons, which I think we’ll probably get into later, but there was one couple who got married at the Rainbow Room. The groom was in his 60s; the bride was in her 50s, and they met in bereavement counseling. They were both left as single parents. I believe he has four boys, and she has a daughter, and what a beautiful story, to go through such loss, and then to meet your future partner in bereavement counseling. And it was done at the Rainbow Room, which is iconic. For any planner, it’s a dream to plan there. So, that was one of my most memorable ones.
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Any horrific Bride or Groomzilla stories you would like to share with us?
You know, I have a couple bridezilla stories, but nothing will compare to when I had a bride OD. Like, she completely overdosed. She made it alive, but she had a little bit too much to drink and too many other goodies. She passed out, convulsing, eyes rolling in the back of the head, foaming at the mouth, all the things. So, that was definitely quite a memorable wedding, but on the other end of that spectrum.
Wow! Is she OK? Did you receive an update on her?
I remember calling Monday morning because it was a liability issue, and they both agreed it was the best party they ever had because it’s like every other weekend in their home, and they thanked me!
Guess it all worked out in the end! Well, in addition to wedding planning, you are also a content creator known for your TikTok videos about raising three kids as a single parent. What inspired you to start posting videos, and what do you hope audiences take away from them?
Well, the scripted response, which is mostly true, is that as parents during the pandemic, we were struck with triple duty. We had to parent, homeschool, and try to make our businesses survive. As a single father, I really needed to break up some of that; otherwise I was going to drive myself crazy.
I think in addition to that scripted response, if I’m being really honest with myself, as a single parent, the way that I often rejuvenate if my kids are driving me crazy is by going on a date or doing other things. It was clear to me that I wasn’t going to be able to be intimate with anybody for a long, long time, so I just needed to put some of that pent-up energy into being creative. I started making these videos with my children, and it seemed to work.
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In your opinion, what has been the best part about fatherhood?
I think the best part about fatherhood has been to raise three children that I actually enjoy hanging out with, which is wild to me (laughs). I genuinely enjoy hanging out with them. I look forward to hanging out with them. I mean, I enjoy me time plenty, but I’d say that’s sort of been the biggest joy for me. The other is, I grew up as an only child, so to see the sibling dynamic is very interesting for me. Seeing how they navigate through, argue, figure things out, and negotiate with each other. I find that fascinating.
Initially, you weren’t doing this journey alone. You began with your husband Tim, who unexpectedly died of a heart attack, and you two were expecting twins at the time of his passing. What made you want to move forward with the pregnancy, and what has been the biggest challenge of being a single dad?
I think it was very clear to me in the beginning when my husband passed away that I was going to abort, because I did not think I had the mental or financial capacity to raise three children on my own. However, the morning of Tim’s funeral, it occurred to me that my son just lost his father, and what if something were to happen to me? I didn’t want to leave him alone in this world. So, not only did I decide to follow through with the pregnancy, but I announced that we were pregnant while giving my husband’s eulogy, which nobody knew.
Then I would say the biggest challenge as a parent has been the fact that every single decision falls on me. Normally, even if you’re a single parent sharing custody, there’s at least some responsibility that gets split, whether it’s somebody doing the finances or maybe cleaning the house, whatever it is. For me, it’s everything from being on top of their schooling, the finances, the house—It’s never ending.
Some people choose or prefer to raise children on their own. What is the best parenting advice you can offer?
Despite my own challenges, I think the thing that I learned pretty early on, certainly as a male, and I often tell this to women if they do the journey on their own because I think society puts more pressure on women, saying they should know how to parent, and there should be a motherly instinct. The reality is, it’s a shitshow. No matter which way you slice it, it’s hard. So, I would say the biggest advice I would give to anybody who’s becoming a single parent by choice, don’t hesitate to ask for help.
Even bigger advice, when somebody asks if you need anything, without question, pull out your to-do list from your pocket, hand it to them with a smile, and say thank you. I think that is super important. Always say yes. Put aside your ego, pride, whatever. Nobody’s going to think you’re a bad parent. Just get the shit done.
@nycgaydad
While doing my research for this interview, I also read that you were raised in machismo culture by a dad who was a drug addict and mentally and physically abusive. How are you breaking that cycle with your kids?
First thing, let’s not do drugs around the children, right? (Laughs). There’s that, and I think the other thing is, growing up in a machismo household, you’re told to be and act a certain way, and part of that is not really talking about your feelings. For me, it’s very important to talk to my children on how to be compassionate, empathetic, and gracious with people, and I don’t want them to be afraid to talk about their feelings. They’ve seen me cry. If something makes me sad, I don’t necessarily hold back too much, and I also show them what happy tears look like, too. I think that’s important.
Just letting the kids know that they can talk to me about anything and everything. Everything’s on the table. The last thing I’ll add to that is, in machismo culture, you’re told that the woman stays at home and cooks, while the men are out, whatever. My daughter wears boy’s clothes, loves sports, and loves being outdoors, and my son loves to help me in the kitchen. It means nothing other than these are just their interests. It has nothing to do with their sexuality or who they are as individuals.
You are also the first gay dad to be on the cover of Parents Latina Magazine. How meaningful was that for you?
Oh my God, are you kidding me? When they told me, I just started crying, because I couldn’t believe it. Having the childhood that I had, going through the struggles of being a single parent, and having these two worlds sort of coming together, versus colliding. In the Latino community, there were two things you didn’t talk about. You didn’t talk about AIDS, and you didn’t talk about being gay. Now, here we are.
Fast forward to the future, a community that can lean towards being homophobic now has a gay dad gracing the covers of a parent magazine that’s geared towards the Latino community. For me, it was such a monumental, full-circle moment, and hopefully that will continue to inspire our community, all our communities, to do better.
What are some future goals you hope to accomplish with your career and platform?
The goal is, hopefully, there’s a Season 2 of Wedding Talk, which would be great. Fingers crossed. Rumors are that there will be, and I want to continue inspiring all types of families moving forward. If that means being more in the public eye or hosting a parenting show, I just want to continue to inspire parents to be their best selves.
@nycgaydad
Stay up-to-date and connect with Rolón by following him on Instagram and TikTok @nycgaydad, or visit his official website, joserolonevents.com.
Photos courtesy of Wedding Talk and José Rolón
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