The Power of Play: Exploring Kink and Fantasy in a Safe, Loving Relationship
Sexuality is a multifaceted concept with people always discovering something different and new about themselves and what they like in the bedroom. If you’re a part of the LGBTQ+ community, power play might seem like a good way to explore where you lie on the spectrum and what kind of fantasies turn you on.
Different people find themselves intrigued by different types of fantasies and kinks, but it might seem like a far-fetched idea to delve into these fantasies unless you’re in a safe, loving relationship.
If you’re in a safe and loving queer relationship and are ready to get to know yourself better, or just want to spice up your love life with your partner, here’s a quick guide for you to engage in power play to explore your fantasies and kinks.
Understanding Power Play
When you think about power play, BDSM (Bondage, Dominance, Sadism, and Masochism) is the most common idea that comes to mind. While it is an essential component of power play and exploring kinks, there’s a lot more to power play than BDSM. As long as you or your partner assumes the role of “submissive” or “bottom” and the other of “dominant” or “top,” you can engage in any type of power play.
Even without adding elements of BDSM to your sexual encounters, you can enjoy a fulfilling power play session, which is a great way to explore your authentic sexual self and let go of the shame and judgement that are often associated with sex.
5 Ways to Explore Kink And Fantasies in a Safe And Loving Relationship
Talk About What Intrigues You
There are many types of kinks and fantasies to explore. Whether you like to be a bottom or want to try bondage with your partner, adopting a curious approach about your and your partner’s interests and listening with intent can make it easier to explore kinks and fantasies in a safe and loving relationship.
Since your relationship is based on the foundation of trust and strong communication, making it a part of your power play discussion can help you come up with things that both you and your partner like. It can also make things more comfortable and enjoyable down the road when you know what you’re getting into from the get go.
Come Up with a Safe Word
Before trying anything new sexually, even with your long-term partner, it’s important to establish certain rules and boundaries to keep things from going too far or potentially hurting yourself or your partner. Many LGBTQ+ folks who engage in power play to make their fantasies come true often prefer to establish a code word that they can say when things start getting out of hand to rein in the sexual encounter. You can do the same. Remember, extreme sex requires extreme communication.
The word could be anything, preferably a term that’s not said during sex, to inform your partner that you want them to stop. For instance, instead of choosing ‘stop’ as your go to word, you can choose ‘pasta’ to let your partner know immediately when you’re feeling uncomfortable. Using a funny code name takes the pressure off you and your partner if the situation gets awkward, and you can start again shortly.
Respect Your Partner’s Choices
There will be times when you and your partner disagree, both during the discussion and when you’re engaging in power play as you explore your kinks and fantasies. It’s during these times that it becomes even more important to respect your partner’s choices regarding their body and comfort level, rather than coercing them into doing something that they don’t wish to.
The same rules apply to you. If at any time you feel uncomfortable or aren’t ready to consent to power play, you can tell your partner and they’re bound to stop. The most beautiful thing about being in a safe and loving relationship is that both partners respect each other and being vulnerable and truthful even while exploring your kinks and fantasies can feel easy and right with the person who cares about you. So don’t be afraid to say no, and stop as soon as you hear the word coming from your partner’s mouth.
Use Sex Toys
Many LGBTQ+ couples who engage in power play, find it easier to get into when they incorporate sex toys in their fantasies. While dildos, vibrators, and suction toys are often the most common choices when thinking about sex toys, there are other unconventional options too.
For people trying to explore their kinks and fantasies in a loving and safe relationship, the use of strap ons, petite sex dolls, vibrating panties, nipple clamps, and cock cages can facilitate the process. The use of sex toys can not only help you and your partner enjoy power play and become more comfortable with the idea, but can also spruce up your love life and help you become more creative in the bedroom.
Start Experimenting
Last but not least, stop thinking about what to do and how to do and start experimenting. Before you discuss the idea with your partner, it’s better to have an understanding of what you like. To know what turns you on and what kind of fantasies you want to engage in, go for a solo session, read and see things that seem to resonate with you and then get your partner involved in the process gradually.
Knowing what you like in bed is a superpower, but this can only be achieved by trying new things. Maybe you already know that you like power play, but experimenting with different types of fantasies and kinks with your long term partner in your safe and loving relationship will help you understand what kind of power play is a big turn on for you and what kind of fantasies seem off-putting. So don’t be afraid to experiment.
Final Thoughts
Power play is a great way to explore your kinks and fantasies in a safe and loving relationship. The security that comes from being with a loving partner can help you let go of the shame and judgement that surrounds sex and enjoy the precious moments with your partner. By following the tips given above, you can make the process a lot easier and fun for both parties. Just remember to listen to your partner and be your authentic self with them to delve deeper into your sexual energy. This will make your love life more active and engaging.
