The Do’s and Don’ts of dating apps

On Tuesday, basketball player and and former Knicks draft pick Michael Wright was found dead, sprawled out in the back seat of his SUV, in Brooklyn. The 35 year old, was found dead from a head wound and covered up with black trash bags.

Police sources say that Michael’s killer possibly met him on Grindr.

I am in no way condemning dating apps, such as Grindr, Scruff, Tindr, Growlr, Jackd, etc.. I have met plenty of great people, including some of my best friends, through these apps. But there must always be caution when looking for friends, dates, hookups, or your future husband or wife through these outlets.

Be honest
Protecting yourself on these apps, starts with you. Be upfront with what you are looking for, whether it be a nice coffee date or a quick hook up after work. Don’t pretend to be more masculine or feminine just to impress someone. They are going to find out eventually, and the energy put forth to stray away from your authentic self will be forever wasted.

Don’t hide behind fake photos 
There’s a difference in hiding behind pictures of inanimate objects and mountains, and using the photo of another person, or a photo of a more attractive version of yourself. I understand discretion, but lying is a whole other ballgame. Trust me, there is someone out there who is going to think you’re beautiful, but starting out any kind of relationship with a lie is like starting a car that is already on fire.

Don’t be unnecessarily rude 
Hiding behind a phone doesn’t give anyone the right to be an asshole. I realize this is a battle that I will never win, but it speaks volumes to simply reply with a “not interested” or “sorry, not my type”. Ignoring someone is also acceptable, because replying to every message is unrealistic. All I’m saying is don’t attack someone just because they messaged you. Be cordial.  This even goes for the thirsty queens who start the conversation with “want some head?”.

Don’t be afraid to say no
Most of us have been in a situation, where saying no would lead to another lonely night of Netflix, and the irrational reasoning to step outside of our hard limits start to creep in. Let me be the one to tell you, it’s not worth it. I have put myself in enough uncomfortable situations to know, that sometimes the willpower to say “no” is the most valuable thing we can do. So if someone asks you stand at the end of your street, and let them blindfold, gag, and go full Jawbreaker and toss you in the trunk of his or her car, please say no. Even if the person looks like Chris Pratt.

Protect yourself
It would be naïve to advocate  for everyone to meet people in public. So, what you need to do is make sure you are comfortable where you meet. Don’t compromise that. Don’t give into pressure. Make sure you know how to leave if at any point you feel uncomfortable. Tell someone where you are going, ie. a roommate, a good friend, or your boyfriend. This goes hand in hand with the above tip. Never feel obligated to do anything.

This list may have been light and maybe humorous, but what happened to Michael Wright was a tragedy. Read the full story on his murder on the New York Daily News.