The Agony and the Ecstasy: Eudaemonia

The purpose of art is two-fold: to wage war and expose truths. As queers, our mere existence is a radical statement of incredible importance. You are a marvel—something fierce to be celebrated and embraced

The best art is not always beautiful or easy. Like you, it is confronting and ready to be embraced. It wages war on the mind. As artists, we use it to wage war on the status quo, on the standards and expectations beaten into us; we wage war on conformity and the present in order to make way for unexpected futures.

We spend our lives in hiding before we spend our lives guiding. To understand who we are, we need to embrace all of the personal battles won and lost.

My newest collection, “Eudaemonia,” leans into that agony and ecstasy of being. After the pain of growth, we enjoy flourishing in the sunshine of love. It’s the sequel to “Personal Vision of Hell,” the first collection in a series of forthcoming bodies of work.

The intention of “Personal Vision of Hell” was always to break me. Like you, I’ve been through much—all of it unaddressed trauma. In order to grow, I needed to wage war. I needed to confront my darkest moments and reconcile them.

I had a panic attack the night before my exhibition and spent the evening in a hospital bed.

So much hurt, anger, and pain poured out of me. The creation of “Personal Vision of Hell” was terrifying. I knew early on that once I opened the closet, I would not be able to close the door again. The origin of one trauma stemmed from another. Removing one box in the closet would cause them all to tumble out.

There would never be a good time to do it, so I opened the door and never looked back.

With that collection, I explored suicide attempts, drug-addiction, body dysmorphia, and anxiety. I made friends with the pervasive feeling I would never be deserving of love. I would never, ever be good enough. I spent my life feeling bound by expectation and guilt, so I leaned into that.

The reception to this body of work was fantastic. It was my first sold-out collection. I knew very few of my guests that evening. After the smoke cleared and the panic subsided, I met strangers who’d gone through the same things I had. I met strangers who hadn’t, but who understood a different truth after viewing the work.

In all the rubble, I found space to build something new. There was so much room in my heart and my mind. I had no idea what to do with the freedom; the only answer was to grow into a person I was proud of becoming. 

Therapy was the best option to become this person. With help, I learned to build boundaries and live a values-based life. I found self-awareness that wasn’t the voice in the back of my head. This kid, this dirty addict, found hope and authenticity worth protecting. 

The hardest part of creating a new collection is always finding the narrative, finding the why. It takes the longest. Artists rarely struggle with technical ability. They struggle with how to wrestle with the truth. 

Following up “Personal Vision of Hell” with “Eudaemonia” is the next chapter in a story of growing, living, and finding joy. I want to embrace progress and reject the cycles of violence we inflict on ourselves. I want to celebrate evolution and share stories that inspire people to make change in their own lives.

So many people want to be free. They’re ready to start their new chapter, they just don’t know how. Regardless of your talent (you do have one, I assure you), find an art form. Art is the off-ramp you need right now. It’s a critical tool in the process of self-actualization. 

“Eudaemonia” wants viewers to know that, whoever you are, however broken you are, whatever you’re battling: There is always a way out. I know you feel like it’s all falling down, but there is always a new life waiting for you. 

Your life is a radical statement—please, please don’t take it. Your light matters too much. Find eudaemonia; stand in your power.

“Eudaemonia” arrives March 12. Visit christopherlafleurarts.com to learn more.