Ted Cruz praises Phil Robertson, suggests making him an ambassador

You didn’t misread that. On Friday, while speaking in South Carolina, Ted Cruz said that, if elected president, he would seriously consider sending the Duck Dynasty patriarch and antigay misogynist to the United Nations to represent the U.S.

This could only be a joke, right? Right? 

“Just for a thought experiment, imagine for a second: Phil Robertson, Ambassador to the United Nations,” Cruz said at a rally in Myrtle Beach.”How much would you pay to see the Russian ambassador’s face when Phil says ‘What is wrong with you people?'”

“You know there’s a reason he terrifies the mainstream media. He says the things you’re not supposed to say.”

Let me explain a little further why the mainstream media is “terrified” of this man. But first, lets change the word terrified to something a little more appropriate. Phil Robertson doesn’t terrify us, he attacks us.

Over the course of his fifteen minutes of fame, good ole Phil has said some pretty terrible things. For example, he has called gay marriage “evil,” said that AIDS was “God’s punishment” to the gays for their immortality, suggested that queers are just trying to get into ladies restrooms, and said that gay sex is not logical because women have buttholes, too. He also has police reports of domestic and child abuse, before he “found God.” Oh yeah, he also shared his sadistic fantasies of watching atheist get raped and castrated.

Surely, this man would make the perfect ambassador for the U.S. *side eye*