Tales of a Fierce, Fat, Fit, Femme: On the Naughty List and No Shame

We all have mixed feelings about the holidays. Some have too much trauma associated or hate the connotations of colonialism and traditional family. Others can’t help but feel a sense of euphoria when the holidays roll around, as thoughts drift to cocoa, warm fires, presents, family, and generally being merry and gay. 

I personally fall on the loving-the-holidays side. While I have my share of shit to unpack, I’m privileged enough to have parents who instilled good memories into my life regarding this time of year. 

But still, no matter how much I love this season, there’s one thing about it that always drives me nuts: holiday guilt—the idea that you’re “being bad” by treating yourself to that piece of pie or second helping of mashed potatoes, the constant jokes and promises about going back to the gym after the holidays to help deal with all the extra weight allegedly put on by the season of giving. 

Sure, for the most part, it’s all in good fun, just a harmless, self-deprecating joke about the decadent food you’re more likely to eat on a cultural holiday than on any given day at home or work. And there definitely is that reality, the fact that you’re eating a bit more decadently, and maybe feel that, although this season is fun and relaxing, you’re ready to get back into the gym and keep moving and healthy when the new year hits. 

But there’s also the reality that, when you’re constantly talking about how fat you’re going to get from hearty eating—and making that sound like the worst thing ever—all fat people in the room get uncomfortable, feeling like they’re the worst thing that could possibly happen to somebody. And then there’s the unspoken assumption that plus-sized folks just eat like it’s the holidays all year round and don’t exercise. 

In fact, there’s a lot of that weird “naughty” connotation going on with the holidays. Lingerie is given behind closed doors, as though the idea of folks being sexual is something taboo. Drinking is treated as an indulgence, instead of what it is—an addiction or bad habit for some, a casual passtime for others. It seems to be a time when, as we get a little closer to tradition, for better or for worse, some of those puritanical ideas creep back in. 

So, this year, as you get ready for your holiday indulgences, give yourself a little grace. As long as you eat and drink responsibly, pie and eggnog are reasonable vices, and you’ll live if you bail on the gym for a week or two due to closures and holiday gatherings. Take the time you deserve to enjoy the short bit of relaxation we get, and try not to ruin it for other people who are indulging alongside you.

Art by Jiji Knight