radioactive vision
If death was standing there at my door, waiting to reap me off my feet, I would book a vacation to a far, exotic land and have one last adventure before taking the big dirt nap. I would squeeze in as many items on my bucket list as I could.
For one of my big birthdays ending in zero, Mr. Waste treated me to an international trip, the home of Zeus, Aphrodite and Dionysus – Greece.
Now Greece was not at the top of my list. I only have a few more continents to check off before I have visited all seven and was inclined to go to South America. But Mr. Waste wanted a vacation described with three words: beach, gay and naked. Mykonos it was.
Getting back into the dating scene after being off the market for a while can be a nightmare.
I love a good prank. I’m the queen of mischief and shenanigans, in and out of drag.
One of my best ever involved a cock – a rooster, I mean.
If you think we have it tough here in Colorado when it comes to LGBT rights, consider poor Michigan. Like us, Michigan has a constitutional ban on same-sex marriage. But Michigan has no statewide protections for LGBT citizens in the areas of employment or housing. There are no protections against violence and same-sex couples are banned from adopting children.
What’s my craziest job? Well, you would think traveling the globe as Nuclia Waste would be crazy enough. But Holly Kyleberg, owner of the top floors of the downtown D&F Clocktower, hired me last Christmas for a holiday wedding reception up inside the clockworks. I was to play Mrs. Santa Claus, having guests sit on my lap, taking photos and telling me what they really wanted.
When it came time for the bride and groom to take their turn, they both got quite frisky on my lap. Not with each other – with me. Then they both invited me back to their hotel room for a ménage à trios honeymoon. I declined and continued to enjoy the rest of the night drinking champagne, mingling with the guests and being a ho, ho, ho. And to think I get paid to do this. I love my life.
‘Excuse me, but I do believe you dropped this,’ I said to the overweight woman, grabbing the frozen treat by the wood handle and chucking it back into the car.
I’ve never typed my column one-handed before. This hot pink cast has forced my hand, figuratively and literally. My left hand to be exact.
Bullies. They’ve been in the news a lot lately. If it’s not someone posting video of his roommate making out with another guy on Facebook, then it’s the Colorado Speaker of the House refusing to allow the civil unions bill to have a floor vote. Bullies are always winning, coming out on top.
My friend Rob is every gay man’s wet dream.
First of all, he’s a UPS truck driver. He’s tall, dark and handsome. And his legs are killer in those brown shorts.
