Suspect Press Says Goodbye to Denver… For Now

Queer people find refuge from the realities of life in art, be that on stage in drag makeup or creating visual art and fiction. And for Amanda E.K., who put her blood, sweat, and tears into the queer-run literary mag that is Suspect Press, that is especially true.

“I was working as a kindergarten teacher, but I wanted to get more into the Denver literary community and writing,” she explains. “I came to the Suspect Press table, and I was nervous and anxious. I’d been submitting to them but hadn’t heard anything back yet. I told them I was looking to volunteer and had an English degree, and they were in a transitional phase and could use the help. I started going in once a week, and I loved the work. Then, when the school year started back up, I had half-days on Fridays, so I just continued to come in every Friday afternoon.”

And the rest is history. E.K. continued to come in and help out, and as the magazine shifted and transitioned, she stepped into a leadership role and left her job as a kindergarten teacher. Slowly, she was making her dream of working in literature a reality despite all the hurdles to that kind of career in our modern age.

In addition to becoming more herself as a strong writer, editor, and community force, E.K. was also wrestling with a lot of internalized sexism and homophobia from her years an Evangelical, a community E.K. is vocal about parting ways with. Seeing the stories of other queer folks unfold in front of her gave her the courage to come out as queer and bisexual, and later, as nonbinary.

“I think seeing all of the queer artists and writers I’ve worked with, and published, and seeing them be so bold about who they are, and doing things like looking up nonbinary pronouns because I want to get it right for my writers, that really influenced how I was able to be honest about who I am,” E.K. says, fighting back tears. Through years of telling queer stories, publishing works by local, nonbinary voices like author Eliza Beth Whittington, and playing with gender and sexuality at photo shoots and dress-up events, E.K. became more comfortable with who she is.

Unfortunately, we all know the setbacks of the past year and how they’ve hit small, DIY arts communities the most. COVID-19 hit, and E.K. found herself unable to put out an issue, as Meow Wolf had to pull their funding and a lot of advertisers had to put the breaks on. Suspect Press prides itself on paying writers and putting out a quality magazine, two things E.K. wasn’t willing to compromise on.

However, as upsetting as it was to admit that Suspect Press had to crowdfund its last issue for a while, which took longer than expected to come out, E.K. looks at it as partially a blessing in disguise. Her business partner, Josiah Hesse had already taken a step back from the company, and E.K. found herself doing many things on her own without a full support system. She felt it was time for a change.

Lonnie M.F. Allen, the graphic designer and illustrator behind Suspect Press whose art has also graced the cover of OUT FRONT, is going to be stepping up and taking the reins of the magazine. The next era under Allen will undoubtedly be different, but no less exciting. There are no official announcements about the new direction yet, but those who know Allen hypothesize that comics and science fiction will take center stage.

While she is sad to give up a project she loves so much, E.K. also feels it is time to move forward and pursue her own writing and filmmaking projects. And she acknowledges that Suspect Press gave her the courage to do all that and to be who she is.

“Thank you to all of the people who paved the way for just being who they are, and allowing me the space to be who I am, which was a really long road. It took me until I was in my 30s to really publicly acknowledge who I am and not be ashamed about it. Meeting people who are nonbinary and confident about it, and just acknowledging them, helped me realize, we can do this as a community. It’s not weird. People should be able to be who they are and be acknowledged.”

*Art by Lonnie M.F. Allen