Stuff Gay People Like: Cigarettes

Gay people and Europeans are a perplexing dichotomy when it comes to health.

Gay people can count calories and carbs as if they’re balancing a checkbook, with decimal-point accuracy. They constitute between a third and half of the male population in athletic clubs in the city. They are sure to treat their hair and skin to copious amounts of Aloe and Vitamin E until “nature’s balance” reaches near-toxic concentrations, and gay people can tell you fascinating facts about the unique benefits of different protein supplements to take before, during, and after a workout. Gay men are the epitome of the health-conscious citizen, and will pointedly report in their dating profiles that they do not care to see other men who have round bellies and therefore do not care about health.

Yet gay smokers plow through cigarettes like they’re training their lungs to weather fire season in Southern California.

In fact, in spite of their attention to pristine healthfulness, gay people are generally fearless when it comes to substances that can actually kill them: copious amounts of alcohol and tanning beds are two.

When pressed, a gay person will generally claim his dismissiveness towards the threat of cirrhosis, melanoma or lung cancer is simply acceptance of the unknown. He will explain that, if gets hit by a bus tomorrow then it would have been pointless for him to have quit smoking, and he will add that he doesn’t care to live to be over age 50 anyway, which is an attitude he will doubtlessly relinquish at the age of 49.

A gay person’s vulnerability to smoking may be explained by the fact that gay people are less afraid of socially stigmatized things, or that they are more open to experimentation. Maybe they just think smoking is sexy and deviant, and, well, whowouldn’t be aroused by a hacking cough and yellow teeth. LGBT people smoke at higher rates than straight people do, and that tobacco companies have long been accused of targeting young gay people in advertising. This does not bother most gay people, who fill up the smoking section on the patio of the bar even when it’s frigid cold out.

Stuff Gay People Like (SGPL: ABOUT) is a regular column. Visit the Facebook Page.