Steadfast in faith

Being a young lesbian enrolled in seminary, I often hear about the “cool new worship service” at the local Unitarian Universalist church, or the United Church of Christ’s food pantry service that needs volunteers. These are non-denominational churches that welcome everybody, and though they are tempting to check out, I know I’ll be living a lie if I walk in
the doors.

It is not often that one hears of young people wanting to fulfill themselves spiritually in institutions that make public declarations against who they love or even ask them to leave, but it’s also not as uncommon as one may think. United Methodists, Roman Catholics, smaller sects of Lutherans, Southern Baptists, and other groups known for opposing same-sex relationships are finding their local churches bending and re-shaping as laws change across the country and the world toward equality for LGBTQ people. Within those churches, there are changemakers working to hold their stake in their strong beliefs while not letting go of who they are.

The sometimes painful process of coming out can be elevated to new levels in faith-based organizations. Oftentimes, instead of offering support and open arms, the options LGBT people receive are counseling to discuss celibacy and even reparative therapy to try to make them straight. In a 2010 study, the Public Religion Research Institute found that two out of three Americans believed that LGBTQ people commit suicide partly based on messages coming from
their churches.

With these frightening facts in front of us, it seems easier to join a church or faith-based organization that is already accepting of who they are versus attempting to make change inside of a seemingly never-changing hierarchy of hate. So why stick around?

“I was baptized into the Catholic Church when I was 10 years old. It was a personal decision that I made and I actually studied for a year in order to actually become a member of the church,” said Lea Drisdel, 22. “I had studied several denominations of Christianity for a while, but Catholicism was always something that I felt a personal connection to.”

Drisdel, who has been out as a lesbian for six years, struggled with the process being a member of the Catholic Church. She recalls even contemplating conversion therapy.

“When all of your religious peers tell you that you have to change, it wears you down and you start thinking that maybe it is something that you can fix,” she said. “Trying to do that actually threw me into a deep depression and I contemplated suicide because I kept failing at trying to change my sexuality.”

But, rather than leaving the church that has hundreds of years of anti-gay teachings, Drisdel decided to stay and work to change it.

“It was one night that in sheer desperation I prayed to God and asked that if this is who I am supposed to be, give me a sense of peace. And from that moment I have had it.”

Drisdel is starting small by referring others to books that challenge anti-LGBT stances in Christianity. She knows that the process is large and often intimidating, but she’s not afraid of it. “When it comes to me personally, I identify both as Catholic and lesbian publically because I want people to know, within the church community and on the outside, that we actually do exist. Visibility definitely matters, and if me being out within the church helps anyone struggling, I’m happy to do it.”

Organizations such as DignityUSA in the Catholic Church and the Association of Welcoming and Affirming Baptists have long existed in hopes of making a difference for the lives of LGBTQ churchgoers. Small pop-up activist groups like Love Prevails in the United Methodist Church are becoming more prevalent for those looking to make waves with direct action. For the most part, there is an LGBT-positive group for
each denomination.

Drisdel is still working on meshing her sexuality with her faith life, but she’s willing to try to do so in the name of helping others who struggle. “Sometimes I still do have issues reconciling my faith with my sexuality,” she said, “but I’ve bridged that gap between the two and I’d like to show other people in the LGBT community that you can have spiritual beliefs without denying who you really are.”