Speak Out: Making it Work — a trans woman’s journey transitioning at work

By Kallie Winners

An overwhelming minority of transgender people are fortunate enough to be self-employed: most of us have to work in environments without the freedom to choose who we work with. We’re often required work in environments with people who’ve never met a transgender person, and thus often react negatively to us.

I’d never planned on transitioning in the workplace. When I took my first dose of estrogen three years ago, I thought that I’d transition in college and head to the workforce as the gender I knew I always should have been. So I had mixed feelings six months ago when I was offered a summer internship while still presenting as male. I needed the experience and I needed the money, so I accepted the job and continued my life in the closet. “Three months,” I kept telling myself. Three months was all — it threw me for a loop when they offered to let me stay on until December and work while I finished college.

I couldn’t turn it down, but also couldn’t keep living the lie. I had it in my head that I’d finally be done wearing a costume, having to put on fake smiles every day. I knew that I had to take this step, so sat down with Human Resources and told them about my status. They were unprepared for the news — they’d never dealt with an employee who wanted to transition in the workplace and had no working knowledge of trans issues, so together we started laying the groundwork to make this happen.

My company had a non-discrimination policy, but gender identity wasn’t included. They also had no idea how to go about informing the company of my status. There were several issues to address, so we started working — I say “we” because I offered my time and experience to help educate HR, and eventually, the company.

We worked on making sure that the non-discrimination policy was updated, started a timeline for transition and informed my immediate supervisors of what was coming down the pipeline. I took two weeks off work while I returned to school, during which time HR met with everyone I work with about what was going on. While I was adjusting to being back in school, they kept me informed how things were going.

The first day back was nerve-racking – I had no idea what to expect. After a quick meeting with HR and receiving a new work badge, I headed back to my desk. There was work waiting for me and some supportive messages from coworkers. Time seemed to fly by the first week. I received sneers from some and smiles from others, and always made sure to smile in return.

After four weeks, things have settled down. A few coworkers have asked me about myself and trans issues, and I’ve been willing to help educate them. It’s really made me realize that workplace discrimination against trans people is more because of lack of exposure and education than hatred.

There is a lack of education and exposure for most of society, though, and that’s the real problem. I suppose I’m very fortunate — I had a great HR team that was on my side, and everyone seemed to take it with an air of professionalism that still astounds me. Today, after 34 years of living in a costume, I finally get to live the life that I always knew I should be living. Coming out in my workplace was not an option for me; it had to be done.

I was able to help educate the people around me, which seemed to make them more comfortable with the changes that they were seeing in me, and in turn made me even more confident being myself. This seems to be the key in my experience; we can’t stop teaching others about trans issues because we can’t stop being ourselves. Not everyone will come around, though with caring, understanding and patience I’ve found that most do. But this shouldn’t fall on the shoulders of transgender people alone. I’ve heard heartrending stories from other trans women — not everyone is as fortunate as I am.

Looking back, I could never go back to living in the closet. My life is so much richer now, my smiles are genuine, and my relationships mean so much more than I thought they ever could. Being out, in my workplace, school and life is a vital part of that.

<Kallie Winners is an electrical engineer, cyclist, advocate, veteran and transgender woman.>