Single and Looking: Local lesbians and gays on love and dating

This is part of Out Front’s June 20 Cover Story – A jungle out there: How lesbians and gays find love and dating

Jasmine Peters, 35, Lesbian woman

Dates: Women
Occupation: Life Coach
Single for: One year

“I am not optimistic nor pessimistic, but realistic about the dating scene. I understand that dating is a process that requires a lot of patience, communication, understanding and flexibility. The dating scene in the lesbian community requires all of that plus some. As a parent and a business owner, I have not had the opportunity to get out and meet people as much as I would like to, but the people I have met have been online or at networking events.

As a single mom dating in the gay community has been very frustrating. I am finding that lesbians truly don’t like children and struggle to understand that the love that you have for them and the love that you have for your children are two totally different things. There is enough love to go around and it’s not a competition, but instead an opportunity to be loved by many.”

Drew Lazio, 24, Gay man

Occupation: Computer Systems / Promotions
Dates: Men
Single for: 8 Months

“I jumped right in to dating when I came out – I was with my first boyfriend 8 months, and later at my first Pride had no idea there were that many gay people! I’m very old fashioned and like to take it slow – I date before I take him home. I’m looking for a serious relationship. I’ve been hanging out with someone a lot lately (a cute boy named Alex) and I’m pretty optimistic.

I meet people online; I used to meet all my boyfriends through Connexion and talk for a couple years before even meeting in person. It’s more social and better for dating; I don’t like the other sites. If a guy I meet has that past, that’s just his past – I don’t judge him at all. But when I’m with him there’s no need for him to be on those sites.”

Preston Dickey, 28, Gay Male

Dates: Men
Occupation: Development Director at One Colorado
Single for: 4 months

“I prefer meeting people in person through friends or out on the town, but I’m not adverse to online dating, although it seems less organic. Personality means a lot more to me than looks. Luckily I don’t have a rigid type so there are more options for me.

It’s a busy time in my life, so I’m primarily looking for casual dates, though I’m open to a serious relationship if the right person comes along. Meeting new people is fun for and I’ve had a lot of wonderful experiences. Breaking up with someone you care about generally sucks – most of us can appreciate that – but I’m consistently reminded of how many great men there are in this city. My friends and the people I work with offer a lot of encouragement, too.”

Christina Cubitt, 27, Lesbian woman

Occupation: Registration manager at Girl Scouts of Colorado
Dates: Women
Single for: 1 ½ years

“Everyone is connected! It can be difficult to find someone who isn’t somehow already connected to a friend or someone you previously dated. It’s a small community, and since a lot of people meet through friends, when something doesn’t work out, it causes ripples throughout the entire ‘friend’ group. It’s hard to establish those friend/dating boundaries. Basically dating is just super complicated! But, it is also fun and a chance to make new connections in life, even if it doesn’t lead to a romantic relationship.
I’m open to what might happen! Dating is very difficult and can be depressing sometimes, but I try to maintain a positive outlook and turn every failed experience into a friendship or at least a lesson. I’ve met people at bars and a few online – which is not my favorite method – but mostly have had success meeting people through mutual friends.”

Keith Garcia, 35, Gay male

Dates: Men
Occupation: Programming Director at the Denver Film Society

“I’m still trying to figure out dating this community. Bars intimidate me and online dating has proven fruitless – no pun intended. I try to be a bright, shiny beacon to find my mate but I feel like everyone’s just wearing sunglasses. I feel like I’ve never really made a ‘connection’ since I was 16 but I haven’t been in the midst of anything ‘interesting’ for about five years.

Movies have shaped a lot of my hopes and wishes but I know how things work in the real world. That doesn’t mean I can’t aim for my ‘Hollywood kiss.’ At this point I’m looking for a relationship. Hookups can be fun and I can always make more friends but it’s time that I met my partner in crime.

I’m attracted to Men with a capital M – which has caused me to swoon over straight men a little too often – so a little facial hair, a little belly, a great smile BUT an overall sense of self confidence no matter what they look like.”