Shying Away From Emotional Connections
FOR MANY, HOOKING UP FOR sex is easy, but the hard part is finding people who really enjoy spending time hanging out or snuggling on the couch. Don’t get me wrong, there are many things to love about sex, but most of us crave a connected encounter beyond just screwing around. Not everyone is looking for a husband, but the “blow-and-go” can become quite unfulfilling. It concerns me that a large chunk of our population has significant challenges forming emotional connections or showing affection.
Brent Heinze, Senior Columnist
Of course there are truly different strokes for different folks, sometimes quite literally. For many, sexual contact is an extremely intimate activity while others consider it more like going to the store or putting gas in your car: It’s something you do to fulfill a need when it arises before moving on to the next task at hand. Some feel that sex can be fine once, but after that initial excitement is gone, the encounter doesn’t bear repeating. It’s totally understandable not to go back for a second helping of a dish that isn’t tasty, but if it’s a yummy choice, why would someone not want seconds?
The “you can totally pound me, but don’t kiss me” mentality does exist out there. Looking someone in the eyes and kissing can be considered too over the top and awkward. Unfortunately, it seems like it’s easier to find someone for a 20- minute roll in the hay than it is to find a cool guy for a movie and snuggle. Showing emotional connection can be difficult, uncomfortable, or scary. Certain topics, activities, and feelings terrify people due to the extreme personal nature of what it can bring up for them. For some, physically sexual things may be totally acceptable while emotional aspects cause them to avoid or run away from this perceived “intimate” and threatening encounter.
Technology is often blamed for our lack of emotional connection due to reliance on things like phone apps and web-based tools for communication. Dating is more like shopping on Amazon than looking for someone awesome for a hangout session. We’re looking for what piques our interest for a short time, only to be discarded for the next bright and shiny object of affection.
There is nothing wrong with having casual sexual contacts, but it’s crucial that all parties involved are on similar pages regarding expectations and desires. Being upfront about your intentions and what you want can help ensure your encounters are good ones. Don’t let being horny lead you into having encounters that leave you feeling unfulfilled and lonely.
If you’re that worked up, take matters into your own hands and save the naked time for someone who’ll be interested in getting to know you, being truly intimate, and may actually be up for Round Two.
What's Your Reaction?
