Shades of ‘BUTCH:’ In their own words

Linda Cox – 51 – Founder and owner of Rent–a–Butch

‘Butch’ is a gender identity. In today’s society, ‘gender queer’ and all those new terms coming up are allowing flexibility in how you identify yourself – butch is a look, a lifestyle and a way of life. One thing I don’t say is that butch is ‘masculine.’ Men don’t own this.

What I am is a strong, assertive woman – strong physically, mentally and emotionally. One term I like to use is ‘butchismo.’ I never wanted to be a man. The worst discrimination I’ve received from any group is from straight feminists and lesbians because they couldn’t understand that this wasn’t me wanting to be a man. I’ve been accused of being chauvinistic in my treatment of women because I tend towards the more chivalrous side of manners.

What I like to say is that I open my femininity up to different interpretations. I think I’m very feminine, it’s just not society’s interpretation of femininity.

I was a tomboy all my life – I was in rodeo and worked construction with my dad. Twenty-six years ago, at age 25, I came out as a lesbian – I was a late bloomer. I was butch for a couple years, kind of a ‘soft butch’ – you know, mullets and rolled sleeves; that was the style a million years ago. Later I was fem for a couple years to try it, and being ultra-fem was kinda fun too. I think that’s one of the things that makes me a successful butch, because I understand both sides, my butch femininity and my fem femininity.

I’m attracted to all women; I say there’s no such thing as an ugly woman. But I tend to date women on the fem side, because I’m shy and it’s about who asks me out – that’s who asks me out.

It was very difficult to be a butch in the 80s. I used to not even go into a bathroom in a public place if I’m not in a gay venue. Butches weren’t always that popular, but right now we’re a hot commodity and I’m loving it. I get such positive responses – gay people, straight people. I’m really grateful to be living in this time – I can’t begin to tell you how much I’m enjoying it.

The meaning of life for me is to have a series of experiences to discover who you are, by discovering who you are not. Over the years I’ve peeled away the layers. Butch fits me. That’s what’s cool about this time in the world; I can be who I am and not feel bad about it anymore.

Jennifer Fossen – 47 – Owner and founder of JENFIXIT

When I think of the term ‘butch’ I generally picture a woman who identifies in some masculine way, and chooses to express herself in that way. But really, categories and stereotypes are different for everyone.

I self–identify as butch, but you might say I cover a lot of bases, and I certainly feel less butch when I’m out on the town and have my hair down.

People love being a part of a subculture. We all long for a sense of belonging, some more than others.  When I first came out, I was way more butch, and considered myself a ‘baby dyke.’ I used to long to fit in. In my new understanding of myself as an adult, I’ve discovered how I feel most comfortable.

When I was a young tomboy, I still never wanted to appear as a ‘man’ – but I don’t like wearing dresses and skirts. As I matured, I got tired of labels. When I used to wear a baseball cap, I got called ‘sir’ a lot, so now I try and maintain a sense of who I really am in the way I carry myself.

I don’t wear men’s clothing and I don’t own flannel; I have a swagger more than a sway, but I wear tight jeans. I do feel more butch when I’m wearing my work pants [construction clothes] but I’m not seeking a style as much as functionality; my butch aspects are more born out of necessity and practicality.

I first fell in love with a woman when I was 18, and it shattered my understanding of myself. It threw me for a loop because I was the worst homophobe of all, and had to start over.

As a member of the Colorado Hookers [a motorcycle group] we definitely get stereotyped. We are a social group of diverse women who, quite simply, love to ride. The Hookers is really about the experience of riding in formation, as a group; there’s so much cooperation needed and without instructions or rules, we find a way to work together and move as one unit.

I tend to defy most gender norms, so therefore being myself is rebellious to the notion of typecasting. Many of us see labels like “butch” as just a necessary component to our strange balance. We make up all flavors of the rainbow; the possibilities are endless.

As a woman who is attracted to women, I really don’t believe in letting stereotypes or labels define who I am. I embrace the duality of sexuality and gender and although I’m most attracted to femme women, it’s not my preference to label, because I really appreciate all forms of beauty.

Kyle Simmons – 25 – Lead Singer

Until recently I’ve had a bad taste in my mouth for the word ‘butch’ – people think of a crew cut, low voice and abrasive personality. Coming into me as a person now, butch is another term with 20 layers. It doesn’t mean not wanting to be treated as a woman or enjoy what a woman enjoys, doing hair, makeup – and a woman’s emotional capacity is huge.

The LGBT community can be opinionated about your role in it. I grew up conservative Christian and hearing ‘you need to be heterosexual, you need to be attracted to a man,’ and when I came out as lesbian I just adopted that instead. I tried to be more feminine, had longer hair and felt awkward. I think I was still trying to escape the ‘stereotype;’ I guess I’m still trying to, a little bit. You see The L Word and they’re all hot, successful women and I was trying to look like that. But I look terrible in a dress!

I was a lead singer of a band, and when it ended it kind of blew up in my face. That’s when I started reflecting on who I was and how to reflect that in my appearance – I started working out, lost weight, died my hair, cut it shorter and my face started to show up.

I describe my sexual orientation as ‘queer.’ People think butch women would never be attracted to a man, but I might be; I see myself as having a capacity that’s bigger than most people. But I know that to society’s viewpoint, I am a lesbian.

My style has been called androgynous. It’s an inner confidence. There’s some dapper awesome shit that men wear; I’m always thinking ‘why don’t they make that in a woman’s size? Can my boobs fit in that? I’ll make it work.’

The Teddy Girls was a 1950s British youth subculture where these girls developed an underground lifestyle, wore short hair and suits. They started a whole movement that wasn’t really publicized until recently. I compare myself to that scene. I don’t want to be seen as more ‘masculine’ or more ‘feminine’ – it’s an independent, strong, confident personality, traditionally seen as male. There’s a rebel quality in taking something that wasn’t made for you, and making it yours. But I feel like more of a woman and more beautiful now than I ever have.

It feels good to defy expectations and not be strapped to any one thing. I can be chubby one day, lose the weight and gain it back. But I definitely believe there’s a core purpose in who we are. There’s a destination within ourselves, I’m constantly in pursuit of it.

Sarah Friden – 32 – Sales Manager

If I would have talked about what I thought of ‘butch’ women yesterday, my definition would be different than after the photo shoot today.

I would have said: ‘butch women have short hair and drive motorcycles!’ But the women in this issue all have girly or feminine aspects too.

I’m not a big label person, but I date women. I have a hard time coming out and screaming “I’m 100 percent gay!” I just prefer women and am only attracted to more feminine women.

I grew up in a very small town in Oklahoma that was very closed–minded, and when I met the first woman I was attracted to, I didn’t know what was going on. I never had a ‘coming out moment’ or period. I knew I was attracted to women, so I cut my hair shorter and realized more women were attracted to me, so it was a progression to finding my personal style and mannerisms.

In general, I think it’s easier for people to accept women when they date women that look like the ones I date; they are the ‘super femme’ stereotype.

When I was first getting into the dating girls thing, I tried to mirror what I thought I needed to be. But as I’ve grown into who I am, I feel more comfortable in myself, and I’m really big on originality, and no longer try to look a certain way; I think I just look like me now.

I think for the most part labels are destructive. The most discrimination I’ve ever run into has been within the LGBT community. I’ve found that the more “butch” women in the community tend to be competitive, which gives me anxiety, and maybe they are looking for the same types of women that I am. So I tend to stay on the outskirts of the community; I’m very single, I spend a good deal with my close group of friends and I love to work out and travel. I’m just me.

I sometimes wish I wasn’t so picky, when it comes to attraction and dating, because I do despise labels so much. But I am; I’m in my 30s now, and I know what I’m looking for, and what I deserve, so I’m not looking to waste my time.

Working out, lifting weights, having a short hair-cut and dressing in a style that might seem more androgynous is just how I feel most like me; I’d rather continue feeling that sense of self from within, and ditch the stereotypes that attempt to label me.

About The Photographer

Hans Rosemond has been an active magazine, portrait and headshot photographer for the last seven years. He enjoys all things film – from The Lord of The Rings to Dumb and Dumber. The only thing better than a good movie is making the subjects in front of his camera look and feel like rock stars. Hans is especially excited to see the ongoing struggle for marriage equality finally making progress.

See more of Hans Rosemond’s photos at HansRosemond.com.

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