Sexpert: Lube is Love

Dear Shanna,

I know that at Pride, places hand out condoms and lube like it’s the second coming (pun intended). So while I totally get the concept of handing out condoms, what does lube have to do with it? Is it really that big of a deal?

Learning to Love Lube in Superior.

Dear Learning to Love Lube,

You know, I love this question because I love lube, I think you should love lube, and honestly, one of my few “rules” to having good sex is that lube is love.

First of all, let’s just break it down based on the body. Regardless of what type of body you’re playing with, lube is a bonus. Penises don’t naturally lubricate; that’s why guys use all sorts of things for lubrication when jacking off: olive oil, Crisco, soap, lotion, you name it. Given this fact, why anyone would try giving a hand job without lube is beyond me. Make it nice and slippery, and you’ll be an expert
in the field.

Anuses never ever ever ever ever ever lubricate. Not ever. Not using lube of some kind during any type of anal penetration (fingers, toys, or penises) actually puts the anus at risk for tearing. While some of these tears are larger and obvious (i.e. someone is feeling pain from anal sex, which is a sign to STOP), a lot of them can be micro-tears. These allow for higher risk of transmitting various STIs (sexually transmitted infections), and can lead to anal infections. Adding a bit of lube can lower these risks, reduce tearing, and lead to a happier butt post-anal.

Vulvas, and more specifically, vaginas, can and do lubricate on a more regular basis, but lots of things can dry up vaginal lubrication, like hormonal birth control, stress, antihistamines (any allergy meds), and just being dehydrated. Vaginal tissue is subject to tears, both macro and micro, as well, so using lube makes for happier and healthier vaginas all around.

So lube can help sex feel better by reducing the friction slightly (if you feel like you somehow put on TOO much lube, you can always wipe off the excess), it can lower risks of STI transmission, it can help with condom integrity to lower the chance of condoms breaking, and can help keep the areas down please happy, healthy, and infection free. Not too shabby if you ask me. As a side note, spit is great for reactivating lubricant, but is usually not enough to act as a lubricant, as it is really just glorified water. Consider water-based or silicone-based lube for any penetration, and oil-based lube for jacking off and hand jobs.

Enjoy a slippery summer of lube fun!

Shanna.