Road Rules Colorado

“PUFFING” YOUR CAR IS ILLEGAL

Those of you in a semi-decent neighborhood know that when it’s freezing out, you put on a puffy jacket, run out to your car, crank it, and run back inside while it’s warming up. (Who can sits in the freezing car, c’mon?) In case you didn’t know, that’s what’s referred to as “puffing” … and it’s illegal in our state.

Apart from wasting gas and spewing exhaust into our rarified air, it’s an open invitation for thieves to hop in and take a joyride. Because we shan’t waste the time of our boys in blue (and for the obvious pollution reasons), we could be ticketed for behaving so carelessly with our frozen rides. But hang on: My dad told me that driving a car that’s not warm can do some real damage over time. It almost literally pains me to crank it and roll out. A little research, and it turns out, you only need to let a car run for a minute or two before all the fluids are properly circulated for a “gentle” start. (I think I can do two minutes.) The heater probably won’t be working yet, but at least we’ve still got a car.

THERE’S NO TIRES LIKE SNOW TIRES

Your ride probably doesn’t weigh more than 26,001 pounds, which is why you’re one of the jillions in our state who must adhere to Code 15. When the weather turns severe, the code goes into effect, meaning you need to have one of the following goin’ on for your ride: • Snow tires with at least an eight-inch of tread

• 4WD and tires with an eighth-inch of tread
• All-weather tires with the M/S (mud and snow) mark and an eight-inch of tread
• Traction devices (chains, auto-sock, etc.) for two of your drive tires

$133 = Fine for driving without proper tires

$657 = Fine for blocking traffic due to insufficient traction devices

GTFO THE WAY!

Here in Colorado, we have a “Move It” law. Essentially, if you can steer it, clear it, honey — you are straight-up blocking traffic and we can’t mean-mug hard enough. Remember, move the car to the shoulder of the road if:

• It’s still driveable.
• No drugs/alcohol are involved.
• No one is hurt.