Relatability is the New Black

So the Primetime Emmy nominations have been announced and “Orange is the New Black” came out big with 12 nominations, including the first ever nominations for a trans actress, Laverne Cox. While I am a fan of this show like many other queers, I have to say that I’m a little disappointed.

While OITNB is breaking ground with all of its nominations, particularly for a series produced for Netflix only, it feels a bit sensationalized. Think about this: How many women are actually in prison fighting off advances from crazy-eyed inmates and damnation from Christian zealots, while being embroiled in narcotics rings and mafia-style kitchen battles? Now ask yourself: How many are living their lives, working hard, working to have a good relationship, and/or raising their children to be good citizens? Exactly. I bet you know a lot fewer of the more, shall we say, colorful bunch.

The second show that I’m “reading” is the ABC Family series, “The Fosters.” The show stars Sherri Saum and Teri Polo as a lesbian couple raising biological and foster children, struggling to be good parents, good partners, and good people. They look like my neighbors and my friends. It’s not sensational — it’s real life.

I am thrilled that a queer show is getting recognized by the Television Academy. OITNB is proving that a show filled with gay humor can be enjoyed by a straight audience, haha! Good television is just good television, regardless of the sexual orientation or gender identity of the players. It’s just … the whole lesbian prison story isn’t a new one. (Don’t tell me you didn’t watch Linda Blair suffering under the control of prison mistress Brigitte Nielsen on one of those insomniatic late nights of your youth.)

“The Fosters” is a truly new way of showing our “family” as just that — a family. No rainbows, no glitterbombs, no parades, no big gay anything. It’s a story about the triumphs and tragedies that families face daily. I proudly watched as the producers received awards from GLAAD and the LA LGBT Center for their positive depiction of family life. They were also nominated for an Imagen Award, and won a Teen Choice Award. Although there will be no Emmy this year, “The Fosters” was recognized with a Television Academy Honor. It’s an award that the Academy has given out for the last seven years to shows that are “using the power of television to bring awareness to important social issues.”

I don’t know about “important social issues” on TV beyond the regular television family drama. It is nice that collectively these organizations have all seemed to come to the same conclusion: Good television is good television, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity. Then why only “honor” the nice, clean, family show and throw 12 nominations at a colorfully worded, raucous, adult show? I figure it’s because OITNB is how people like to think of our queer community.

Your average lesbian is just that: average, by Hollywood standards. We’re not showy. We just kind of live our lives being people. Yes, things can get a bit more dramatic – hello we’re lesbians! — but for the most part, we just do what other people do. Our families may be more created than biological, but the love is the same.

Come August 25, I will be like all of my queer friends on Emmy night: dying to see what Laverne Cox wears, watching for all of the lezzies on the red carpet, and rooting for them to take home that golden statue — all while secretly hoping that some day soon, a quiet show about my family’s everyday life challenges will some day get the true attention it deserves.