‘QueerTok’ Community for Questioning Kids

I’m just going to come out and say it: I love social media. Is it toxic? Yes. Distorting? Bingo. Does it fill me with rage seeing 5-year-olds scrolling through Instagram on an iPad at the dinner table? Don’t get me started. 

But let’s forget all those terrible things for a moment, as valid as they are, and think about what social media has given to young, queer people. 

I was 12 when I made my first virtual profile. The site? Tumblr. You probably guessed that from context given I’m now here, writing for a queer magazine, but I’ll say it for the sake of clarification: Tumblr was the hub of nerds, artists, and gays, and it served as the locale for my formative queer education. It was an amazing time, an eclectic collection of kids and young adults unpacking our atypical identities in sweet, secure anonymity. 

But while our pseudonyms and secret online personas kept us safe, they deprived us of a key aspect of community-building—visibility. 

Enter: TikTok. What began as just another straight-washed social site has blossomed into the up-and-coming queer collective. Thanks to the app’s algorithm, following a single, gay creator will cause the ap to suggest another, then another, and another five after that. Before you know it, you’ve immersed yourself in ‘QueerTok’ and, I promise, it’s the worthiest rabbit hole to fall down. 

Welcome to QueerTok! Have a look around. Gender-diverse people are around just about every corner. Your cup runneth over with queer styleguides, makeup tips, and haircuts galore. Is it time for you to brush up on your queer history? You’re in luck! Thousands of creators of every gender, race, sexuality, size, and ability are here to help you out.

As much as I loved my incognito Tumblr days, and I will always respect my roots, I think TikTok might actually be better. 

Visually seeing so many different LGBTQ individuals is exhilarating and validating in the most indescribable way. They’re not simply living their lives as queer people—they’re confidently queer. Representation is everything for young marginalized people, and the handful of historically white, skinny, gay celebreties just wasn’t cutting it anymore. Now, queer kids can open their phones and see themselves reflected in millions of other every day people. 

QueerTok has also given birth to a whole new slate of queer signaling tactics. Everything from music choices (“do you listen to Girl in Red”) to fashion (the “four horsemen on the gaypocalypse” photo, if you know you know) to the iconic wrist flick, even featured in Lil Nas X’s “Industry Baby” video. The hanky code has expanded AND gone digital. 

While TikTok isn’t the only virtual queer hub, I think it’s safe to say it’s one of the best in the game, but no social media site comes without flaws. I cannot rave about TikTok while ignoring its history of censoring queer content in less-LGBTQ friendly countries. And for every thriving queer community, there’s a mass of TERFs, bigots, and queerbaiters standing by try to ruin our fun. 

But the important role TikTok has played in helping young, questioning kids cannot be overstated. Schools are still failing us when it comes to educating about gender and sexual identities. Children usually can’t access queer spaces, let alone get involved in gay culture, like bars and clubs. Being young and LGBTQ is profoundly lonely and confusing. Apps like TikTok are providing avenues for these kids to see that their identities are not just valid, but worthy of celebration.

Gen Z is the queerest generation yet. Recent studies have found that one in six Gen Z adults are LGBTQ, with record numbers of queer, bi, pan, and fluid people. As these communities claim their rightful place on popular sites, more people are exposed to queerness and, in turn, feel comfortable exploring the facets of their own identities. It’s really incredible what a little visibility can do—we’re bearing witness to the benefits everyday. 

Whether you’re a confident, fully realized gay looking for some good, chaotic content, or a questioning baby queer seeking answers and advice, QueerTok is a place for you. You’ll feel empowered. You’ll feel comfortable. You’ll feel seen. Welcome home.