Queer and roving in Las Vegas

I just got back from Vegas. The land where memories go to be forgotten and dreams go to – hmm – I can’t remember. Nevertheless, it was just the blast of crazy I needed after a couple of weeks of working 12-hour days. I’d never gone to the indulgent oasis in the middle of the desert until four years ago, and even then I went with my mom and sister, so while it was a cool experience, it wasn’t “Sin City” Vegas. Let’s just say we were asleep by 10 p.m. This time was Vegas.

Funny, people who’ve known me for years have said that I wouldn’t like Vegas: Too artificial, too gluttonous, too lit-up for me. I absolutely get that. It’s not generally my style.

But there’s something special about a place that doesn’t make you feel guilty for anything. At least, not while you’re there. I’m a Taurus, a lover of all things natural, yes, but also a lover of indulgence.

I might be making myself sound cooler than I actually am. My version of Vegas is likely tamer than many, but there is a freedom there that’s admirable. It’s not often in life that we’re surrounded by a majority who just want to relax and have fun. Sure, haters and tools and desperation abound, but they do and it does in day-to-day life, too. At least in Vegas, the idea exists that you can just be, do and go with it without obvious disapproval. I think as a LGBT person, that aspect is super appealing.

In daily life, there is a natural tendency to either be cautious and discreet or bold and resolute when holding my girlfriend’s hand while walking down the street. In Vegas, that was nonexistent. It didn’t have to be a statement.

In daily life, when I meet someone new and they start talking about their relationship without batting an eyelash, I have to make the decision as to whether or not to bring up my relationship. I have to weigh out whether it’s worth it or not, and if it is, navigate the pause that occurs after I say it. Let that “ohhhhhhh” moment absorb in whomever I’m talking to.

Maybe it was because I had champagne at brunch and followed it up with a yardstick of grown-up pink lemonade that I just didn’t even notice that feeling in Vegas, but I really don’t care. Not noticing was much needed.

Not to mention, hitting up Krave (mega-gay club on the Strip) and then Drink & Drag (bowling with drag queens in old Las Vegas) on back-to-back weekend nights after drinking wine on ice in a pool with my girlfriend all day – that’s just happiness. It definitely puts the f.u. in fun, and as my friends know, when I paint the town, I paint it black and blue and come out relatively unscathed.

I once attempted to use Vegas, before I even knew the city, as a metaphor when talking to a less-than-enlightened straight friend of a friend who loved the city – as in wearing Vegas T-shirts in Denver loved it – and who said my least favorite thing in the world: “Why does there have to a gay pride parade? There’s no straight pride parade!”

Ugh. The usual “The whole world is a straight pride parade” didn’t work. So I asked him why he loves Vegas.

He essentially said it’s because he can do what he wants when he wants without having to worry about consequences and with no sense of pressure. He said that it’s a free space. Exactly! That’s what it’s like for queers when they are around queers in a free, safe space like a gay club or Pride or a queer-friendly restaurant, I said. There is no pressure to have to yield (or work against yielding) to conforming all the time. I think he almost got it. Perhaps it was a stretch.

Regardless, I dig Las Vegas. It’s a truly unique American experience. And as everyone knows, hello, the gays do like to have fun. We like to celebrate the freedoms we do have. We like to just exhale and not worry about it, because to do so, to some extent, is a luxury.

So my ears might still be ringing, and I’m overcome with a desire to only buy in bulk and bike to work for a few months in hopes of reducing the carbon footprint I left behind those three days, but in my heart there’s a special place for a place where I can walk around in a daze with an easy grin and my girl by my side without judgment. None that I can remember, at least.