Pushing the Button: Oh no you didn’t!

Have you ever taken a moment to reflect upon the types of things we actually say to each other in our quest to communicate? There is a bit of craziness in some of the ways in which we talk to each other. Sometimes the communication is purposely nuts and other times, the communication is strictly handled out of naivety … I hope.

I have kept a bit of a journal over the past 30 days. This journal has been largely therapeutic, as it helps me to put my own communications in check. I can look at someone else’s comment and gauge my own craziness factor against it. I can now say, “Nita, would you say that to someone?” or “Nita, what would you do if someone said that to you?”

Here is a sampling of entries from my Crazy Communications Journal:

Location: PrideFest parade line-up at Cheesman Park
Who: White male volunteer to a female participant marching with an African American group.
What was said: “Why is a white woman marching with the African American lesbian group?”
Problem(s): (1) She actually wasn’t white and (2) I don’t really have to tell you do I?

Location: Pagosa Springs, CO
Who: A group of social work and victims advocate professionals in a workshop.
What was said: “The Civil Rights Movement was helpful and all and some of the name calling has stopped, but now the disabled communities are the new ‘N*gg*r’s.’”
Problem(s): (1) The person saying it believed what she said was true and (2) not such a cool thing to share with your Black facilitator.

Location: 7-Eleven, 18th & Downing Street
Who: Random man talking to random woman.
What was said: “Is that your real hair?”
Problem(s): (1) Not a good conversation-starter and (2) she was proud to say it wasn’t her real hair and proceeded to remove it to show him why.

We are in this intriguing season of openness, exposure and frankness. Coming from a generation and a culture where that wasn’t always the case, I am thrilled that we are shaping and expanding a culture of open societal communications. However, in our intent to be open and free in our speech, we still have to think of the implications of our words – intentional, accidental or innocently said, they all create impact. Some of the impact could last a lifetime.

The timing of this is important. We just passed an anti-bullying legislation. We still have work to do with civil unions and we have much more work to do with inclusion within the LGBT community. Our community has to create masterful ways to communicate and in particular, how to communicate with groups that we are unfamiliar with; groups we think we know, but really don’t and groups that have had some adversity towards us and with us.

My Crazy Communications Journal excerpts may sound extreme, but they are actually fairly common occurrences. Now that we have a voice … we have to master using it. My dad always said, “It is better to be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.”
… And there is nothing crazy about that.