A Proactive Primer to Proper Pride Preparation

Pride season is sweeping upon us faster than an American Family Association “tester” ducking into the women’s restroom at Target. To keep from making headlines yourself for having the most disappointing Pride experience, you’ve got to make sure you’re well prepared to squeeze every drop of enjoyment out of the celebration, all while making sure you aren’t denying yourself (or anyone else!) the right to have a damn good time, no matter your gender.

Take Some Time Off

I mean this sincerely. Even if you don’t have a rainbow-infused hangover the Monday after Pride, you might want to use one of your personal days to take off work and recover. Give your body a chance to recuperate from all of the walking, dancing, drinking, standing, sunning, and whatever else-ing you were doing during Pride weekend. If your boss gives you flak, just tell her/him you need some time to mentally come together (like Voltron!) so you can perform at peak efficiency and smash the ish out of those quarterly projections.

Get Your Tickets Early

If you plan on going to a show, club, bar, or anything else that requires a ticket for entry, snatch dem tickets up early! Sure, you might think you have plenty of time now, but who’s to say those hoes won’t run out early or be higher at the door? Save your money and frustration and pounce on a good opportunity when it presents itself.

Know How You’re Going to Get There

Denver has a ridiculous number of transportation methods; you can get around easier than a fresh bottle of poppers at a bathhouse. If you already know where you and your crew will be headed, start making travel arrangements now. Will you drive, carpool, take an Uber/Lyft, avoid talking to people while on the bus, or tone those calves by walking? Planning now helps you decide where to park, how to avoid/prepare for increased prices on ride-sharing services, and plan your bus or light-rail route.

Stock Up on Condoms/PrEP/Lube/Etc.

Let’s be frank about this: Pride undoubtedly makes some people want to do the unbridled dance of the two (or more)-backed beast. Go ahead and stock up on condoms, lube, and renew your PrEP ’script if need be. While you’re at it, don’t forget to make a sensual playlist composed of Maxwell, Teedra Moses, Daley, and Raheem DeVaughn. There won’t be a dry crotch in the bedroom.

Get Ready to Pay $10 for a Bottle of Water

No one can blame bars and clubs for taking advantage of the throng of people that comes with Pride. You already know you’re going to be paying more for drinks and cover, so go ahead and start putting back a lil’ extra now so it won’t feel like your bank account is being shanked when you step up to the door or bar. Pregaming is a valid option for saving money, but make arrangements to either have a designated driver or arrange for a taxi or Lyft/Uber. I really don’t want for you to spend Pride in a drunk tank. Dass not cute, boo.

No matter if this is your first Pride or your 20th, having a solid game plan never hurts. Remember, a failure to plan is a plan to fail.