Pride Safety: How to Have Fun and Stay Safe This Summer

It is Pride Month.

Last week, my husband and I were chatting and processing how we wanted to wrap up May, and we realized that Pride month was approaching. We discussed how engaged, fun, and boisterous Pride will be this year in response to all the anti-LGBTQ (specifically anti-trans) legislation and rhetoric.

Instantly we sank in our seats, realizing how violent this Pride month could be. It was an emotional whiplash moment from excitement to fear, and a heaviness follows the felt experience of oppression. I shared this discussion on my Instagram and asked others about their feelings about Pride this year. The response was overwhelming and reflected collective fear within the queer zåeitgeist. In response, I wrote this article as a shared Pride safety planning resource for increasing safety this Pride Month.

The World is Not a Safe Place for Queers.

As an LGBTQ-specialized therapist, I support queer folks in safety (physical, social, and emotional) planning around foreseeable stressors, threats, and potentially harmful situations. It’s essential to take a holistic approach when considering your physical and emotional needs and overall resiliency as queer folks living in a heteronormative world. Typically, I support clients, community members, and friends in safety planning for engaging with toxic or abusive family members over the holidays, entering homo-bi-transphobic environments, and domestic violence situations.

Safety and Substance Use

It is also important to create safety plans around substance use situations to protect our values and personal safety around our chosen substance use. This can be as simple as watching your drink to prevent being drugged at a party or event. Substance-related safety planning also identifies personal limits of use, social pressures, and emotional triggers for increased usage.

If you are sober, in a program, and concerned about triggers, what tools from a 12-step harm reduction or support can help? I always encourage folks who use substances that can be laced (cocaine, MDMA, G, K, Meth, etc.) to test their supply for fentanyl and to carry Narceine with them.

Denver’s best harm reduction resource is Bee The Vibe. They supply folks with free testing strips, narceine, STI/D, and HIV testing. The best way to find a resource like Bee The Vibe in your town or city is to Google: harm reduction and your city. Call or email the organization that provides harm reduction, and start a relationship with them.

Safety Planning Core Principles

The safety planning principles I share regularly are centered on the following:

Cultivating awareness of foreseeable stressors.
Developing self-awareness.
Trusting your instincts.
Focusing on self-regulation and protecting your values.

These skills also translate well to this upcoming Pride month and various LGBTQ communities’ unique concerns and fears. Overall, communication is critical.

Buddy System Going Out

A buddy system is always an excellent way to go. Identify whom you want to spend Pride events with, and start a discussion. Talk with your buddy/buddies about what events you wish to attend and make a plan:

What are the foreseeable stressors?
Are there any barriers to communication while out?
What are potential safety concerns?
Discuss substance use intentions.
How do you wish to interact (or not) with others (i.e., socializing, flirting, sex, etc.)
Consider how to intervene if a predatory person targets you or your buddy.
Activate the Find a Friend app, and keep your phone charged and ringer on.
Set a time limit for being apart, and decide how to respond if you get separated.

Staying In?

For those not attending the big Pride events, consider creating alternative plans that suit your joy with a friend or two, in-person or virtually. What can be enjoyed solo if that is not an option? Make a list of five to 10 things now for when you are in a state of FOMO or feeling low. Favorite music, films, or shows that reflect your queerness can be great at this time. Festive distractions can include creativity, journaling, meditating, or amping up self-care practices. It’s hard to make empowering decisions when we are in a state of low self-esteem or feel like we are missing out. These are great tools for any event, Pride or otherwise.

This Year Though

Now, back to the majorly concerning material of this year’s Pride month. This year there is a different, scarier vibe. Any feelings of concern and uncertainty about safety and this Pride month are valid. Leading up to this Pride month, there have been veiled threats and overt anti-LGBTQ measures against our communities. There is a sense of emboldened bigotry that seems to reflect white, conservative Christians feeling threatened by LGBTQ folks gaining equality and the GOP fueling hate to gain momentum for the upcoming 2024 election.

Oppressive forces have made themselves heard since last year’s Pride season, contributing to valid concerns that arise as Pride kicks off. Ideally, nothing will happen. However, it is best to be prepared if hate crimes, mass shootings, or being targeted at an event occurs. At the same time, it is essential to identify what forms of anxiety or fear you feel about managing it while attending Pride events (if it feels comfortable) and not bend to the oppressive forces of hate groups.

OMG Florida…. UGH GROSS

Florida is an excellent example of how direct anti-LGBTQ legislation has cultivated a culture of fear amongst LGBTQ representation and community gatherings. Ron DeSantis has used our community as fodder for his 2024 presidential election campaign. There have been six anti-transgender bills cultivated over the year in the state of Florida. Additional anti-LGBTQ laws, including the Drag Ban and Senate Bill 1580 Protection of Medical Conscience, allow medical providers to refuse treatment of LGBTQ+ community members. This has created hostility throughout the state, resulting in a cancellation of pride events and a pervasive culture of hatred towards LGBTQ communities and individuals. Florida and other red states have supported 491 anti-LGBTQ+ bills in the USA, creating a stage for bigotry, homo-bi-transphobia, hate crimes, and a broadly heightened threat of violence from the alt-right.

Bigot Pride

Neo-fascist violent political group Proud Boys facilitated 180 anti-LGBTQ demonstrations and have declared June “Proud Month” promoting “Straight Pride” in opposition to Pride Month and LGBTQ Pride. This year, the number of alt-right demonstrations, neo-fascist visibility at Pride events, and aggression at events are anticipated to escalate. Other white nationalists like the Patriot Front, Westboro Baptist Church, and anti-LGBTQ social media influencers like Matt Walsh and Ethan Schmidt are promoting violence toward Pride and the support of businesses like Target, LGBTQ communities, and queer individuals. This hate-based rhetoric amplifies bigotry and violence towards our communities and Pride events.

So, what the hell are we going to do?

In addition to the general safety planning outlined in the first portion of this article, consider what else can help you feel safe, like:

Getting informed.
Increasing community awareness.
Communicating your concerns.

Get Informed

Contact your city’s pride organization representatives. Ask what possible threats they know of and their plan for ensuring safety. Contact specific events and venues hosting Pride parties. Ask what security measures they provide i.e., door security, metal detectors, and security plants in the venue. Ask the venue where the exits are, and plan to hang near the exits.

If you are not confident or assured by the response from Pride organizers or venue staff, voice your concerns, and ask them to step it up. Let their answer also inform if you feel comfortable or not, and trust how you feel. The same applies when you arrive at a venue or Pride event. If it doesn’t feel safe enough, check in with yourself and what you need. Maybe leave and consider asking for a refund. Venues and events are making money off us; make them work for it, especially if straight business owners put them on.

Returning to the Buddy System

Be more strategic and communicative with buddying up for Pride. Pick a buddy or two to attend events with. Communicate concerns; share associated emotions, and discuss how you would like to support each other. Again, turn on the Find a Friend location-sharing apps, keep your phone charged, and ringer on. Keep an eye on each other, and openly communicate if something feels wrong.

Stay Aware

Keep an eye on the event, and be aware of any hostile individuals or hostility in general (but also check your biases to prevent unintentional oppressive behavior). Consider if consuming fewer substances would be helpful to feel more able to respond if something happens. If something feels off and you’re afraid to leave because you don’t want to miss out on Pride, remember there will be more Pride seasons and more reasons to be with the community.

Stay safe, queer, and empowered, my rainbow darlings.

In the big picture, these hate groups will not win. Conservative Christians, neo-fascists, and bigots use fear tactics to oppress us and shrink our visibility. In times like these, we must show up for Pride events and pro-LGBTQ liberation opportunities. Simply showing up and demonstrating our collective existence is resistance to oppression. At the same time, you must stay aligned with your values and protect your emotional, social, and physical safety.

Ideally, this information won’t be critical. However, I hope it will be a helpful reference and provide you and your community with tools to remain empowered, safe, and most importantly… PROUD.