Prepping Your Pooch for Dogs in Drag

For centuries, you breeders have fine-tuned your Shiba Inu’s cheekbones, your Labradoodle’s legs, and your Welsh Corgi’s torso, but you haven’t taken five minutes to think up a PrideFest costume? (Realness doesn’t happen in a day, and doggie drag realness is not going to, either.) Be a good owner and get it together with our tips for Dogs in Drag, one of Denver PrideFest’s signature events.

Have Some Interspecies Real Talk

Neither species believes for a second that this event is for the dogs, but if your canine friend isn’t excited by the promise of treats, a walk, or park-time, it’s totally appropriate to shake your head, make non-verbal noises, and repeatedly, excitedly ask, “Why are you always making this about you?” or “Who wants a sexy pink wig for half an hour?” Consent is the presence of tail-wagging, not the absence of human language.

Pick a Category and Queer it Up

Whether your German Shepherd is a gender essentialist, social constructionist, or simply beyond the binary, drag is for fun. Start with a clever drag name for your four-legged friend, then choose a costume that makes them feel confident, sexy, and comfortable. This year’s themes are Most Unique, Funniest, Best Owner/Pet Duo, Best Dog in Drag. Werk it so your dog qualifies for all four!

Accessorize

Turn up your Etsy-self, and create the homemade items to match the personality and body of your dog. Anyone can buy a Chihuahua Dolly Parton costume online, but only yours will have the cerulean sequins and choice curves that the costume truly deserves. In a world of tired and uninspired Fidos and Fi-Fis, a few simple choices can make your dog stand out from the pack.

Keep it Safe

Of course, your Sharpei would look cute with long, lazy eyelashes, but true kings and queens know when to say Yass and when to say Nuh-uh. The official rules from Denver Pride require leashes and updated vaccinations, while prohibiting snakes (would love to know the story there!) and things that go vroom (the latter includes remote-controlled vehicles since previous pet-owners couldn’t resist). At home, be sure to use pet-safe dyes, makeup, and materials so that it’s a positive experience for all parties.

Register

You have three ways to register your dog before the special day: online, printout, or in-person on June 18, and registration is only $5. You still have several weeks, so get ready!

Dogs in Drag will be hosted by Shirley Delta Blow on Saturday, June 18 at 12:15pm. Registration begins at 11:45 at Center Stage in Civic Center Park.

Hit up DenverPrideCenterStage@gmail.com with any questions.