Why Do Some People Appear Stronger Than Others?

Hey, Brent.

I’ve never felt comfortable dealing with stress. Growing up, I had personal challenges with my family and my self-confidence, but there are many people I know who had it much worse and seem to deal with anything that comes their way. Is there a reason some people are able to deal with life better than others?

— Anonymous.

I’ve always found it interesting that some people from really rough childhoods or other difficult life experiences can leave behind the hurt caused by what many of us could consider debilitating and become powerful, fulfilled, and happy individuals with jam-packed, fun lives and amazing support. Then there are others who develop feelings of powerlessness through tough life situations. They perceive the world as unfair and full of pitfalls and villains waiting to jump into their lives and hurt them.

There is an ongoing debate about what makes some people more resilient than others. A complex mix of personality supportive situations, and a healthy dose of good fortune may have the most influence in a person’s ability to overcome difficulties without becoming a victim. So many of us have struggled with feelings of inferiority, abuse, abandonment, body image, insecurities, and shame, yet some appear better-equipped to deal with them.

Truth is, personality plays a big role. Traits like a good sense of humor, effective communication, independence, and creative problem-solving skills create positive outlooks on rough situations. Resourcefulness, compassion, and the desire to take the initiative helps support persistence. Some are skilled at creating supportive networks of people who can aid them in gaining outside perspectives while nurturing their need to connect with other good people.

These strengths are innate with some people, but most times they’re gained from outside sources like family or friends. They’re also developed throughout our lives. Over time, there can be an increased awareness of unknown strengths and abilities that were waiting to be released. Tapping into these may take time, focused attention, and a lot of practice. Regardless of where they come from, these traits can give us strength and confidence to take on the world. Our ability to cope with stress successfully gives us a better chance of not losing our minds when things get rough.

Although having these strengths doesn’t stop crappy things from coming into our lives, they make us self-sufficient and more empowered to deal with unexpected or unfortunate challenges. We have the opportunity to engage these difficult experiences with confidence and increased abilities to emerge victorious