The Path to Parenthood Isn’t Always Straight

The modern family takes many forms and thanks to reproductive advances, more male same-sex couples are embracing gestational surrogacy to have a biological child. As gay intended parents, third party reproduction offers a parenting option to build families.

The majority of male same-sex couples choose to grow their family through gestational surrogacy. This is when one partner’s sperm and a donor’s egg are used to create an embryo. Then, through in vitro fertilization (IVF), the embryo is implanted in and carried by a genetically unrelated female. Since the woman has no biological ties to the baby they’re carrying, it’s often less emotionally complicated.

Many women who choose to become surrogates have finished their own child-rearing and are mothers who’ve had healthy pregnancies and enjoy being pregnant.

Egg donors can be a family member, friend, or anonymous volunteer. Since fertility declines with age, the ideal egg donor candidates are under the age of 33. Once a donor is selected, they will undergo an intensive screening that includes medical, psychological, genetic, and infectious disease tests, and they will also meet with a reproductive attorney.

“The pregnancy rates for couples that use donor eggs and gestational surrogacy are some of the highest available in assisted reproduction,” says Dr. Sara Barton, a physician at the Colorado Center for Reproductive Medicine (CCRM).  “The high success rates are due to the young age of the egg donors and the healthy uterine environment provided by the gestational carriers.”

A Surrogate’s Perspective

Stacey Phillips wanted to become a gestational surrogate after watching close friends struggle with infertility. “Giving the gift of a baby to another couple was just something we knew we wanted to do as a family,” she says. At the age of 30, after the birth of her second child, Stacey decided the timing was finally right.

“By working through a surrogacy agency, we were matched up with a gay couple that was interested in adding a second child to their family. Together, we were able to decide how little or how much we would be involved in each other’s lives. Each family going through this process has unique circumstances,” she says. “We’ve had a great relationship and at this point, we speak every other week and they share pictures of their baby with us. In many ways, they’re like our extended family. Overall, it’s been a very special experience for both of our families.”

As one of the leading fertility treatment centers in the nation, CCRM has all of the resources to help same-sex couples start a family, including referrals to egg donors, referrals to gestational surrogacy agencies, and referrals to legal counsel. Thanks to the availability of effective fertility procedures, same-sex couples have an excellent chance of getting pregnant.

“Gay men face more challenges in becoming parents than any other group, so it’s important to choose a fertility clinic that has the experience and compassion to have a positive journey,” says CCRM physician Dr. Robert Gustofson. “At CCRM, we’re committed to helping all individuals who desire to become parents, regardless of their marital status or sexual orientation.”