Paranoid or Reasonable? The Lesbian Housewyfe Wonders About Her Mask

With the end of mask mandates across the country, I’m not sure how to proceed. Mask or no mask? If I wear my mask, am I paranoid, or am I reasonable?

You see, my wife, light of my life, heart of my world, had a stroke back in 2017. That heart condition, piled on top of type 2 diabetes and a genetic lung disorder, make her particularly vulnerable to COVID.

Score one for reasonable.

Thus, at the beginning of the pandemic, as soon as the first lockdown commenced, I skittered away from the office to work from home for the duration. And I never returned.

Actually, I lost that job because my bosses needed someone at the office, and I was unwilling to come back while the disease still spun its way through the community.

And that’s one for paranoid.

FYI—No judgment either way on that front. They needed someone who could tolerate the risks of working in an office that was rarely public-facing, and I took the opportunity to spread my wings and fly like a penguin into the world of freelancing.

So, you can see that I’m not entirely risk-averse.

Now that it seems like we’re moving into a space where COVID is going to be considered endemic (meaning that we get to live with it around us like the common cold), I’m going to have to figure this out.

I don’t mind my mask. It hides my chin hairs and silky mustache as they grow unabated while menopause takes its toll. Plus, I haven’t had a cold in two years.

Let’s give that one to reasonable.

But now that the state has ended the mask mandate, is the pandemic over? Can I go out without my mask? Is it time to invest in waxing?

What’s the deal?

I did some research on the CDC website. After all, I’ve gotten my three jabs, two for the initial vaccine and one booster dose, and so has my wife.

On the CDC site, I inserted my state and county and waited for the results. My county remains a high transmission area. Recommendations followed:

Wear your mask in public indoor settings. Wash your hands frequently. Continue social distancing. Get vaccinated as recommended. If you are experiencing symptoms, stay home and get tested.

When I went to the grocery store last weekend, people were in different states of mask wearing. Many wore them inside this crowded area, but others did not. And, as I walked through the store, unmasked people coughed and sneezed.

OK. So that’s NOT following CDC guidelines. But maybe they’d tested themselves and were negative for COVID. Maybe their outburst was due to allergies or dust or the cold I’ve avoided.

I managed to calmly pluck broccoli off the shelf instead of following my first instinct, to leap like a superhero escaping an evil villain’s ballistic missile.

Score one more for paranoia.

After all, how many of us have coughed or sneezed at the grocery store? It happens. Why am I so jumpy?

Was it only a year ago when my vaccine safely protected me enough to chat unmasked at an outdoor business mixer and visit the grocery store with my full face exposed? Are those times coming back? Or does changing to an endemic approach mean they are gone for good for people like me who live with a vulnerable person?

For now, I’m going to continue as I have been. If I go into a crowded indoor space, like a shop, I’ll wear my mask. Outdoors, I won’t use it, just keep a bit of distance between myself and anyone else I meet. Hand-washing will continue to be accompanied by the suave song stylings of me singing my A-B-Cs.

That seems reasonable, if a little unfair to the folks washing their hands around me.

So, if you see a little round lady flinching at your unmasked sneeze at the grocery store, know that she’s simply attempting not to react like a mine exploded in the bread aisle.

Not to be paranoid about it.