OFM Lust: The Wife and Her Pastor

Pastor Rick and his wife Anita stand at the front of the conference room, smiling behind their microphones like Donny and Marie. They’re the self-appointed leaders of the annual Biblical Marriage Conference, and they’re just wrapping up their opening address in front of more than 100 Christian married couples. 

Miranda and Bryan—partners in a polyamorous arrangement—are the only people there who aren’t married, though they’re pretending to be. Neither of them is Christian, though they both grew up in the Church. For them, this conference is fantasy fulfillment for their religious-themed kink play. Bryan is playing the role of submissive pastor, and Miranda the pastor’s dominant wife. 

(For those of you who grew up in the Church, you can understand the appeal.)

Pastor Rick flexes an age-spotted, yet fit-looking, arm, illustrating what it means to build better marriages Jesus-style. “At this conference,” he says, “we’ll help you identify the root cause of your marital issues. Once the root is exposed, you’ll start to grow in ways you didn’t think possible.”

“We’ll help the men become strong leaders, and we’ll help the women embrace the importance of supporting their husbands as leaders,” adds Anita—her blonde bouffant hairdo bobbing with every syllable.

Miranda shifts in her seat so that her knee-length skirt inches up her legs, drawing Bryan’s attention to the lace of her white thigh-high stockings. She writes something on the biblical marriage worksheet in front of her and slides it under Bryan’s eyes. It reads: “Do you promise to expose the root and help it grow?”

Bryan traces his tongue along his parted lips as he reads Miranda’s message. He writes beneath it: “I do.”

“Good boy,” whispers Miranda. 

A 50-something man at their table looks at them as though he knows exactly what they’re up to. Miranda imagines that he keeps pornographic photos tucked in the pages of his Bible, and that he’s at the conference to put an end to his addiction. 

Later that afternoon, Bryan and Miranda attend a break-out session called “Reigniting the Marital Fire.” A small projector screen at the head of the room glows with the Bible verse from Ephesians 5:22-24:  “Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Saviour. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.”

“Now, some people look down on submission as if it were something demeaning, degrading or humiliating,” Pastor Rick says with a glued-on smile. “But in a biblical sense, that isn’t what submission in marriage is about at all.”

“What a shame,” Miranda says under her breath. 

“Rather, a wife who submits to her husband is choosing to empower him to have the self-respect he needs,” says Anita, beaming at her husband. She then asks the group to share examples of healthy submission from their own marriages.

A man in the back says that he balances his wife’s submissiveness by asking her for permission to do things, like play poker with the guys.

Bryan nods in agreement and says, “I get great feedback when I ask for my wife’s permission, too. Her support of my wishes to wear her makeup and stockings feels very empowering.”

There’s a palpable silence in the room. Pastor Rick and Anita stand frozen, smiles still glued to their faces as though someone pressed a pause button on them before they registered what they just heard. After a minute, Pastor Rick un-glitches to suggest that that may not be what they were getting at. “Does anyone else have an example?” he asks with a shaky laugh.

Miranda raises her hand. 

“My husband and I feel most connected when I submit to letting him pleasure me.“

As she says this, she fondles a whip-like tassel necklace hanging between her breasts.

Again, a confused silence from the audience. Several people ogle Bryan and Miranda with concerned stares. The couple next to them appear to be praying silently, their fingers linked in their laps. 

Pastor Rick and Anita laugh nervously and call for a five-minute break.

Miranda leans into Bryan and says in a husky, movie-star voice, “You were such a good boy for speaking up. You have so much helpful knowledge to share about submission.”

“I live to please you,” says Bryan, hungrily eyeing Miranda’s tassel necklace that she’s casually brushing along the palms of her hands.

“Although … I’m a little worried,” says Miranda, “that I may be spoiling you by sparing the rod.” She slaps the tassel with a steady rhythm between her breasts.

Unable to contain himself, Bryan sneaks his hand onto Miranda’s stockinged knee, which she immediately slaps away with the necklace. “You know you’re not supposed to touch unless I say so, Pastor,” she whispers to him in a terse librarian voice. 

Bryan looks at the floor like a scolded puppy. “Thank you for reminding me,” he says. “I guess I forgot. All this talk about submission got me excited. I deserve your punishment.”

“Let’s just hope you don’t forget again,” says Miranda. “Or I won’t be quite so nice next time.”

“Yes, madam,” Bryan replies with a half-moan. “I live to obey your commands.” 

Pastor Rick calls for everyone to return their focus to the topic of marital bliss. “Now folks,” he says, his eyebrows jumping playfully up his face, “we all know marriage is hard work. Anita and I have been married for 30 years, and we’ve run the gamut of difficulties. You name it, we’ve dealt with it. I won’t get into the gritty details, but believe you me when I say, we haven’t always been this cheerful, loving couple you see standing before you today. If you want to know how we overcame addiction, neglect, disrespect, affairs, and daily arguments, the answer is God. When you let God move in you and expand your awareness of his love and grace, and when you learn to swallow your pride and ask God to be used as his holy vessel, he will fill you with a servant’s heart so that you won’t be spit from his mouth, as he warns in Revelation. As the kids say, God is down to forgive your sins. He asks that you come as one with your spouse to the feet of Jesus to be used as tools in his holy hands. Dear brothers and sisters, when you come as one, you can be sure that God will reward you.”

As Pastor Rick speaks, Miranda subtly teases Bryan. When the pastor says to let God move in you, she rocks her hips slowly, almost imperceptibly back and forth in her seat. When the pastor says to swallow your pride, she molds her fingers around her throat, gripping it for just a second, then swallows audibly. When the pastor says to come as one, she squeezes Bryan’s trembling thigh, stroking it so gradually that no one else could possibly notice her intentions.

All this teasing has Bryan clutching his Bible and biblical marriage worksheets to cover up the holy expansion rising from the front of his pants. 

“This is more erotic than the burlesque show we saw in Vegas,” he whispers to Miranda. 

“Shhh,” she whispers back, touching her index finger to her lips.

“Now let us close in prayer,” says Pastor Rick.

With everyone’s heads bowed and eyes closed, Miranda slips her right hand between her upper thighs, just for a moment, then brings her fingers to Bryan’s face, as though brushing a crumb off his upper lip. Bryan, seemingly moved by the spirit, blurts out, “Holy Jesus!”

Several people in the room, including Anita, echo him with convicted moans of “Yes Lord!” and “Praise God!” Miranda covers her face so that no one can see her laughing.

After the session, as Miranda and Bryan are following the crowd to the main hall to debrief over coffee and sheet cake, Miranda suddenly grabs Bryan’s hand and pulls him into a hallway closet. This closet—which happens to be a pageant costume closet—is filled with togas, rope belts, angel wings, halos, and even a crown of thorns.

Miranda straps Bryan into a pair of lacy-white wings and rests the crown of thorns atop her head. “Bow down and receive absolution for your sin of yielding to temptation,” she commands, pushing Bryan down by his shoulders.

“Yes, Madam Savior,” utters Bryan, the bulge in his pants pulsing with fiery devotion. 

“Nothing pleases me more than serving you.“

Miranda pats him on the head, then wiggles her panties down to her ankles and tells Bryan to take and eat of her flesh. “This is my body, given up for you.”

After an entire day of agonizing, delicious teasing, Bryan is more than willing to partake in his lover’s communion. He takes Miranda fiercely by the hips, burying his face in the fragrant folds hidden beneath the hem of her schoolgirl skirt. He finds her dripping wet and already close to climax. “Please,” he begs, “may I touch myself while I pleasure you?”

Miranda thinks about it while she strokes his hair in rhythm with the caresses of his eager tongue. “Yes, you’ve more than earned it,” she eventually decides.

Within minutes, Miranda’s back is arching, her hips bucking up from the box of prayer candles beneath her. Unable to keep quiet, she pulls out a rope belt from a tangled pile and bites onto it to stifle her orgasmic scream, removing it only to command Bryan to cum as she finishes. At her command, Bryan explodes onto a stack of glittering halos.

They take a few minutes to catch their breaths, smiling devilishly as they clean up the costume closet (after all, they’re no philistines), then they smooth their clothes and leave the closet one at a time to join the rest of the couples in the main hall. 

Hand in hand, they walk up to Pastor Rick and Anita at the refreshment table. Bryan reaches out to shake Pastor Rick’s hand and says to him, “My wife and I want to thank you for the positive impact you’ve had on our marriage in such a short time.”

“It’s true,” adds Miranda. “Thank you so much for helping to ignite our fire. May God reward both of you for your service.”

Pastor Rick and Anita flash coy eyes at one another. “As a matter of fact, we’d like to thank you,” says Pastor Rick with a wink in his voice as Anita passes a business card to Miranda. 

“Please give us a call this weekend. Day or night. We’d love to express our gratitude for what you’ve brought to this conference.” 

And with that, the pastor and his wife walk off to join another couple, leaving Miranda and Bryan’s imaginations whirring with new and unexpectedly thrilling role play scenarios that they already can’t wait to enact.