What “role” do you play as a parent – the mom or the dad?
That’s what I was recently asked by a heterosexual male acquaintance – my internal reaction was offense. I chased the right words to give him a piece of my mind without profanity, until, looking at his face, I understood he honestly meant no harm. He was curious about same-sex parenting.
After I restored my composure, offense turned into excitement. This was an opportunity – and to be honest, I wish more people would ask us questions instead of jumping to conclusions. So I appreciate his boldness.
Answering his question was, well, it was easy. My role is to do what needs to be done at the time it needs to be done, but consistently out of love. So if a bike chain is broken and one of the kids asks me to fix it, I will try. If they need help with their homework then I am going to help them answer the questions or at least teach them how to find it.
When you stick to the facts, it’s easy. A bike has a broken chain. Can I fix it? Yes – then fix the chain. No – then go ask your mom or dad. Needs help with homework. Can I help with finding the answer? Yes – then help find the answer. No – then go ask your mom or dad.
At the end of the day, all they see is love.
An article in LiveScience, by Stephanie Pappas, confirmed what I’d known about LGBT families, including mine. Children of gay and lesbian parents “may have the advantage of open-mindedness, tolerance and role models for equitable relationships … [and] gays and lesbians are likely to provide homes for difficult-to-place children in the foster system.”
The innocence of our children and the purity of their hearts shed so much light on a truth that we, as a society and as adults, should fight to grasp and hold. Relationships are LOVE – not “roles.”
Our roles don’t define who we are.
Society has tried to define so much of our lives and our roles that we often forget who we really are. We are LOVE – created to give and receive love. Who said dad can’t dress up and have tea parties with his daughter? Who said mom can’t put on a safety helmet and pads and skateboard with her son?
As a lesbian mom, it is my responsibility to educate those within and outside of my community about LGBT families by continuing to do what I am doing – loving my children. It is important to know and realize that parenting is parenting, which is meeting the needs of my children, not meeting the role I “play” in fulfilling their needs.
I couldn’t be more proud that my family and I are part of such a loving community. I celebrate with you, your LGBT family and children. Families with PRIDE!
