Mel Incarnate Drops Single “Big Tits”
After listening to Mel Incarnate’s first single “Big Tits,” you’ll be humming the lyrics, intentionally or not. The hummable chorus rings “big tits to match my ass, big tits to match my ass.” She discusses the deeper meaning behind the catchy lyrics and spills the tea on her new EP, as OFM popped her interview cherry.
What inspired you to write ‘Big Tits?’ What’s the song about?
Around November of 2020, we’re very much into the pandemic. I started to have these things called ‘tranic attacks’ where I’d have panic attacks about my feelings of wanting to transition. I was really unhappy. My pronouns were they/them for, like, eight months, and the itch had not been scratched yet. I felt a ton of pressure from society and friends, weirdly, and basically all facets of my life to look and feel a certain way, even though it’s completely up to me.
I was sick of all the voices of different people telling me, ‘You’re this, or you’re that.’ Then my own brain being like, ‘You’re this or you’re that.’ I was walking around my apartment, and I was just, like, singing this jingle of big tits to match my ass, big tits to match my ass, and my roommates were like, ‘What the fuck are you saying?’ and I was like, ‘I’m gonna get huge fucking tits, and fuck you.’
I just kind of cracked and told myself, I’m doing what I want. I’m going to see my vision through. I was having apparitions of what I would look like, and I was just said, ‘Fuck this; I’m doing it.’ I sat down, and I wrote about how I was feeling in the span of a couple of months. I was looking in the mirror, and I wanted to rip my flesh off, rip my beard off, rip my mustache off, all my skin; it was very dark and kind of scary. I didn’t know what to do with these feelings, so I just wrote that song. I wanted it to be very dancey because that’s what it was in my head. This is a celebration. I want it to be a middle finger; I want it to be fun, and I wanted to say exactly what I was feeling.
What’s your personal music style; what makes it unique?
I grew up in Alabama, so I grew up in the country, and I grew up on Christian music. I still really like some country and Christian music. For me, it’s all very simple; the message is there. Country music is like a story, and you know where you are in the song. With all of that in mind, once I got older, I went to school in New Orleans, and I kind of became obsessed with Timbaland. I was just like, ‘Oh, a whole new world, this is crazy, hip-hop.’
And I was researching him a lot, and I loved that he was making noises with his mouth and recording them to use them as beats. So with that being said, I incorporated storytelling, simple lyrics, and simple chorus. But also at the same time, when I was coming out as gay, and also my second come out as trans; I became very obsessed with, like, cheesy pop, Top 40, whatever it is. I really became obsessed with music that made me feel like a slut for some reason, and that just felt so liberating.
I think I’m just pulling from all my references growing up. I was just submerged in so many different genres at different periods in my life that I kind of just wanted to melt them all together and be this ball of chaos, but it’s exactly how I feel.
Does being a trans woman influence your writing process?
Yes, in a big way. So, ‘Big Tits’ is pretty obvious about where I was at mentally when I wrote it. I have an EP coming out which is called Tranic Attack, and each song has a theme. My next single is called ‘About Fashion,’ and it’s about owning all of your shame. Some of the lyrics are, ‘My coke nose is my fashion; My blow job is my fashion, or my family is my fashion,’ so all these different parts of what I was ashamed of in my journey to get to where I am are very much incorporated.
Then, I have a song called ‘Push,’ which is just straight up about a panic attack. It’s very hyperpop, very catchy and fun, but it’s about suicidal ideation and that is a big part of my story because I was so fearful to come out as trans. I have tons of support now, but personally, it was like a giant hurdle that I had to get through. Then finally, once I broke through, it was just this release of emotion. Another one of my songs is called ‘Jennifer’s Batas,’ and it’s about the time I was dating this guy. It was just an abusive relationship, and the song is literally about me hunting him down, eating him, and literally shitting him out.
I’m currently writing a song called ‘Ooh Daddy’ now, which is about just being fem and using men for my advantage because I have felt so disadvantaged by them in the past. So being trans, I can’t really extract it from my writing; it’s just a part of me, and it always has been.
What provoked you to start a career in music?
I always wanted to be a pop star, big surprise, little, gay kid in Alabama, I was like, ‘I want, MTV; I want the Grammys; I want it all.’ I just literally thought if I convinced myself I was a pop star when I was around five that I would just get discovered one day. I was delusional about it as a child. I always wanted that, but I never thought it was possible. I had all these voices in my head saying, ‘You can’t sing,’ and my parents were saying, ‘You need a real job.’ That I needed to be a lawyer or a doctor, and I was just like, ‘OK.’
I was even pre-med in college. It was a moment. But after coming out and losing contact with my family from Alabama, I don’t speak to my parents. I had a massive falling out with a large percentage of my family. I just basically got the fuck it, I was like, ‘Fuck it, I’m transitioning, fucking I’m doing it.’ I had all these crazy dreams, and they were all kind of coming true. So why don’t I just go for my pipe dream? Janis Joplin says, ‘Freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose,’ and I literally felt like I had nothing left to lose.
I got hooked up with a producer, and it just kind of blossomed into this thing that I deeply care about now. To sit here and have an interview about it is insane because two years ago, I was miserable, depressed, and I was craving this creative outlet, and I didn’t know what it was. There were just certain things I wanted to convey and really music vibrations and performance were the only way I can really get it out. That led me to be like, why don’t you write a song, and then I’m gonna perform it and show my tits off and go crazy. I just stuck with it and, like, here I am with a song on Spotify, which is, for me, it’s bizarre, I’m like, oh my god, my dream.
Do you have other projects in the works you can share?
My EP is coming out probably in early September or late August, and it’ll have five songs on there. I am co-writing with this guy named Tor Miller; he’s giving Bob Dylan. When we work together, we have this really cool relationship where he’s just down for whatever the fuck I want to do, and he helps me condense lyrically and with melodies.
I have a bunch of music videos coming out which are cool and also a lot of hard work. I thought you just shot a video, and it was done, but it’s a really long process and expensive, so I’m just figuring it out. The music video is coming out in about three weeks for this song. I’m also working with this new producer, so I’m getting a ton of people with different experiences to mash together. I Also have some concerts coming up through Richard Cool. I went from not having any songs to now, and I want to keep it going, so I’m just focusing on creating more.
What has been your favorite part of the music writing and performing process?
Honestly, I have OCD, anxiety disorders, and depression. So, there’s a medley of mental illnesses that I was blessed with. And my favorite part is when I’m in the studio, and I’m recording, and I have the headset on, and everything just disappears, like all of the voices, and everything just melts away. I get to say what I want, and it’s recorded; it’s in the fucking vault; it’s here.
That’s my favorite part is just being in the studio, and, like, five hours go by, and it feels like 30 minutes. I’ve just been in a constant state of serenity and ease. I’ve never felt anything like this before, and it’s just brand new, and it just feels really correct to be in the studio and be recording what I wrote. It’s a bizarre experience, really trippy for me.
Have you always wanted to perform and be in the spotlight?
Totally. I used to be ashamed of that because I was like, I’m an attention-seeking queer. It just felt very cliche, but I realized that everyone has their story. And in order for me to live a fulfilled life, that means, performing, and that means showcasing everything I’m feeling. When I was a kid, I would laminate song lyrics and bring them into the shower with me because that was my safe space. My parents would say, ‘Stop singing Britney Spears,’ and I’d be like, ‘No.’
So I would bring my laminate lyrics in the shower, come up with a dance, and then perform it for my stuffed animals in my room. Throughout my life, I’m just like, it’s not possible, it’s not possible, it’s not possible, until I was like, it’s possible girl, just do it. So, yeah, it’s always been there. Then I did show-choir in high school. I was made fun of a lot, but I remember dancing and singing on stage, it was kind of like Glee, and I was like holy shit. I remember freaking out about it, but I was just like, how do I get to do only this? It took me a really long time to figure out I have to make it happen for myself.
Where does “Mel Incarnate” stem from? What’s your family background?
I changed my name. That is not my birth name; my sister, my biological sister, is a drag queen. She’s a drag performer; she’s also trans. She was estranged from our family. She was ostracized and essentially kicked out, and she moved. She was like, fuck all this; I’m in New York. When I was coming to terms with my own queerness, I came to New York, and we became close after years of not speaking. And I started just immersing myself in the queer community, and I changed my name, my last name, to incarnate, which is what she had chosen.
Her name is Charlene Incarnate, which literally means Charlene in the flesh. I chose the last name Incarnate as symbolism of our family unity and just letting her know I’m with you, and we both endured a bunch of abuse growing up, and work together even if we’re fighting. As far as Mel goes, my birth name started with an M, and I wanted to keep the M, but I was stuck on a name for a really long time because I just think it’s so important; you need an amazing name. Then my roommate at the time a year ago had me and his phone as Mel. I was like, ‘What? that’s not my name yet,’ and he’s like, ‘Yeah, but you’re just giving me Mel energy—cool girl,’ and I was like, ‘Love it.’ Mel is just a sound; it’s Mel.
Anything else you’d like to add?
Well to be honest, I love Slayyyter, and she’s my dream collab. I’m obsessed with her. She literally saved my life with her music. Her music is very raunchy, and it’s just not like anything I’ve ever heard before. It was just wild, and she wasn’t giving hard vocals; she was just doing exactly what she wanted, and I could tell.
Listening to her music two years ago in 2019 literally changed my life. I wish I did something more profound about who inspired me but I’m like, ‘No, it was this bitch named Slayyyter,’ and she saved me sincerely. I was in the point .01 percent of listeners for her song ‘Daddy AF’ in 2019. I listened to the songs days in a row, and it gives you the stats on the amount of times I’ve listened to it, and it equaled up to five days.
Purchase tickets to see Mel Incarnate perform in Brooklyn, New York on August 20 here.
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