Letting go of ‘letting ourselves go’

With the end of the holidays and the start of a new year, I always find myself dreading trips to the gym. It’s not the cold weather or sudden increase of newly resolution-minded people that deter me — it’s the conversations that fill locker rooms and cycle studios: “Ugh, I seem to gain more and more weight every Christmas.” “Whyyy did I have to have those leftover cookies for dessert last night?” “Thank god it’s sweater weather so I can hide this tummy.”

December may be the month of holiday cheer, but January seems to have morphed into a 31-day guilt trip, where all those festivities — and the inevitable cocktails and cookies that come with them — hang over us like Scrooge’s ghosts. Like the festive cover of snow turning into a roadway nuisance, we begin to see those endless parties and family meals as evenings of regret rather than festive gatherings.

This constant state of self-loathing permeates the gym and tends to add a new intensity to my workouts. Thirty minutes on the treadmill turns to 40, while I bump up my regular 15 bicep curls to 20. Suddenly, I’m wrapped up in the gym frenzy where repentance for a fun holiday season is the norm, with each cookie consumed met with a minimal 10 pushups as atonement.

So now you can see why I hate the post–New Year’s gym community. I’m sick of feeling guilty about the fun times I enjoyed with family and friends. I’m sick of the (admittedly larger) number on my scale taking prominence over the Christmas photos in my camera. Some may say that adapting certain dietary restrictions over the season can help with these January blues.

But really, how much fun would you have had substituting celery for peppermint bark and water for rum-spiked eggnog? Little to none, in my opinion.

So to avoid these dark feelings causing spoil to my otherwise lovely holiday memories, I’ve taken it upon myself to set up some parameters for my January trips to the gym. Before I let this obsessive fitness-frenzy wash over me, I will remind myself:

1. That I am here to improve my future health, not to atone for past meals.

 2. That I will focus on the memories made during those meals, not the food consumed.

And most importantly…

3. Five pounds or ten, no weight loss plan is worth any amount of self-loathing. We deserve to be happy this year, regardless of the number on the scale.