Your mind, heart, body, and soul are what tell you in depth what you want and who you are. Going against what your heart truly desires is an emotional strain so damning, it can tear your insides apart, leave your mind scared and your body aching. We as human beings are designed to interact and engage in love and connection. We should be able to connect with whomever we please, as long as they want the same connection with us.
But in many cultures and religions, this isn’t the case due to traditional beliefs of what is right and wrong. Especially when it comes to what the role of a woman, there is an expectation for a woman to be married to a man, take care of the household, the kids, and have that be her entire life. It’s important to remember that misogyny and homophobia is still very normalized in a lot of cultures and groups of people all because of religious beliefs.
Trauma-informed therapist Dr. Sara Glass shares her experience with the ache caused from going against what your heart desires and the fight towards self acceptance. Her new memoir Kissing Girls On Shabbat expresses her feelings of torment while growing up in the Hasidic community as a woman with an attraction to women. She knew what was expected of her and completely opposed what she wanted, but simultaneously she dealt with it because she “wanted to do what God say was right,” as she explains on The New York Times Modern Love podcast.
Her journey began with her divorce, which went against her parent’s beliefs, and a custody battle over her two children that put fear in her heart. This resulted in her being suffocated and pushed into another unwanted marriage due to conforming to heteronormative expectations until loss and an event as traumatic as sexual assault took her life and emotions by storm, and she was finally able to fight back and be true to herself. This incredible and whirlwind journey will be published on June 11 via Atria/One Signal Publishers. Preorder the book here.
