How to Use the Body Positivity Scale to Build Body Confidence
Can we all agree on something? Can we all just leave self-body shaming behind in 2022?
Body Confidence and the Queer Community
I wish it really was as easy as all agreeing to leave it behind and make a swap for body acceptance.
But, learning to understand and appreciate your body means loosening the grip of little indignities about your body that have been passed to you, experienced, witnessed, and learned since you were a child. Every “dig” about weight gain or weight loss, every unrealistic body in the media, every joke with bodies as the punch line and discussion about valuing certain bodies over others – They have a way of sticking with us and molding our opinions of bodies.
This can be doubled as a queer person navigating the world. This world that’s obsessed with thin, white, cis, abled-bodied folks. Fatphobic and femme-phobic rhetoric certainly exists within the queer community even if it is a long-standing “secret.” Of course, the queer community is not a monolith, but data does help us understand that 33 percent of adults who self-identify as gay, lesbian, or bisexual report feeling concerned about their body image compared to the 11 percent of heterosexual adults.
Franky, the amount of exhaustive energy that goes into putting our vessels down needs to be used to accomplish worthwhile, positive endeavors in 2023. If you are feeling that way, let’s take a step back to examine the body positivity scale and see if the values of body neutrality can support you going forward.
What is the Body Positivity Scale?
The body positivity scale exists as a tool for understanding the different theories around body acceptance.
On the left side of the scale is a dislike or hate for the body, and on the far right is body positivity/bodily love with body neutrality hovering somewhere in the middle. Throughout life, many see-saw throughout this scale. Others can be quite rigid.
Have you considered where you land?
Existing on the left side of the scale and devoting life to “improving” your body can lead to missed experiences, and exhaustion. But, so can the right side. Body positivity is highly glamorized; however, it is not accessible for everyone, especially when a lot of your life has been spent fighting that body.
Guess what? That is 100 percent OK! Body positivity is not possible for all for a multitude of reasons, and it doesn’t make you a bad person for not being there (That’s toxic positivity speaking). It also doesn’t make you a bad person for being there. The only way to move forward is to accept where you land without judgment and open-mindedness to growing.
Body Neutrality and How to Practice It
“I used to say ‘overweight.’ But fat is a neutral word. If you look it up, it doesn’t say good or bad. I want to remove the negative associations,” proclaims fat Danish comedian Sofie Hagen (they/them).
“Body neutrality” advocates for accepting and appreciating your body for its non-physical properties.
Being neutral in thought towards your body means removing any expectations on how you “should” feel towards your body. Body neutrality invites you to meet yourself where you are, accepting it for all that is and does while encouraging you to cultivate a feeling of gratitude for its abilities.
Body neutrality invokes principles of mindfulness. When we clear our mind and listen intently to what our body needs with patience and politeness, we can begin to be aware of what it does in return to you and just how well it actually functions.
Hear what your body is telling you. Prioritize movement that works for you, something that you consider fun and something you look forward to, whether that is a dance class or a walk with your fave podcast on. Movement is not punishment, but a chance to feel alive, to tune out the world while focusing on your breath and heartbeat. On days you feel drained, opt for a cozy nap or warming shower. Guilt has no place here!
Reframe your inner critic with gratitude. The next time you find your mind trying to diss yourself, pause for a moment before inviting a thought trade. For example, “I am so glad my thighs can power my walks;” “I love that my arms can hug my friends,” “Without my nose, I wouldn’t be able to smell my favorite scent,” etc.
I’ll share a personal example from a recent beach vacation. I had gained some weight, and my belly was a lot bigger than it was before. I noticed the thoughts, “I should cover up” or “maybe I should lose some weight,” which implied there was something wrong with my body that needed to be hidden or changed. I practiced body neutrality by listing out the wonderful things about my belly. I never get seasick or nauseous. I’ve never had food poisoning. My belly is a badass digester and gets so much energy and nutrients out of the food it digests. It totally changed my mood and mindset and allowed me to relax and have FUN on my vacation instead of being stuck in insecurity.
Express your gender in a way that feels good. Showcase who you are, and tell the world your story. This can be your way to deconstruct the binary rules that our society is built upon. Let your body feel joy in the expression of who you are and surround yourself with other voices who are here to support (like this magazine!)
Celebrate what you are capable of. When is the last time you celebrated what you offer? Try writing down three things that you appreciate about yourself, and reflect on just how damn special and worthy you are. These can have something to do with your body, such as, “I can find a beat and express myself through dance,” to praising that beautiful brain of yours with, “I can formulate incredible arguments when having a discussion;” “I write thought-provoking poetry,” or celebrating traits you love about yourself: “I am caring friend.”
Keep learning- Relearning and unlearning certain constructions is no easy feat but can be extremely helpful on a body-neutrality journey. Understanding notions we hold (even subconsciously) will allow us to hold space for others, and over time, ourselves. Head to the library, and read books by diverse authors; go to conferences; watch documentaries—whatever medium you prefer.
Curate your media- Seek out gender-diverse, LGBTQ folks, drag performers/couples, BIPOC, Indigenous people, minority voices, and disabled and fat folks on social media and in the media, which can guide you to understanding our bodies are a mere vessel for what we can offer the world. This magazine is a great place to start!
Remind yourself it takes time – Like anything, there will be days you don’t feel good, and that is OK. It takes time to develop new habits. Be gentle.
I am passionate about body neutrality because I believe that you, in the body you have right now, are worthy of so many beautiful things, simply because you exist. Your body is merely a vessel for experiencing this unpredictable world, and you deserve to feel peace, safety an joy. Remember that.
Gabby Jockers is the Mindful Boudoir Photographer and owner of body-positive studio Embodied Art Boudoir in Golden, Colorado. She uses mindfulness principles to help her clients get out of their heads and into their bodies so they can experience embodied joy, confidence, and fun!
To learn more about doing your own boudoir experience, check out her website here.
Photos courtesy of Gabby Jockers
