HIV testing at the bathhouse

This article is part I of a series about how “Bleed Like Me” writer Scott McGlothlen first tested positive for HIV.

Part I: [HERE] HIV testing at the bathhouse

Part II: Testing HIV positive with a rapid test

Learning to live as HIV positive: Scott McGlothlen: Bleed Like Me

When I stumbled upon a remote STD testing center set up in the bathhouse, I thought it was a match made in heaven: bawdy, sexy heaven. That would be my new guilt-free reason to go to the bathhouse. Any hot and heavy action there would be a reward for my good safety measures.

My first time getting tested there was different from any HIV test I’d taken before. The bathhouse didn’t have the same feel as a fluorescent-lit medical office. Back then, the testing equipment was laid out on a tiny mattress.  The tester was a man in casual clothes with a ponytail. He was more like a comrade than a health care professional.

After signing all the paperwork about the results being confidential, we began. I wore only the towel I used to cover myself in bathhouse hallways. First we would start an HIV rapid test. Then, I’d be quizzed about my sex life, wrapped up with some more tests and the revealing of the rapid results.

The rapid HIV test seemed like a home pregnancy test, except it required a drop of blood rather than the joy of peeing on a stick. The finger prick was harmless and the tester immediately covered the test so we couldn’t see results creep up during the rest of the conversation. It would take 20 minutes or so.

I eagerly answered his questions about my sexual behaviors. I always enjoy questionnaires even if they’re awkwardly personal. At the end, he handed me a cup and asked me for a urine sample. At least I got to pee into something.

Returning with the sample, I answered a few more questions and it was time to see my HIV results. I had felt so confident all along that it hadn’t occurred to me what I would do if the test came back positive. Although I was always adamant about using condoms, I still held my breath – what would it be like if I found out I had HIV while wrapped in a towel in a bathhouse? My heart began to race. He lifted the lid and looked it over.

“You are all clear,” he said with a smile. I relaxed with a big sigh. I had never done a rapid HIV test before and it was a bit more nerve-wracking in the moment but nicer than having to wait days for other preliminary tests. The tester gave me copies of papers to take with me and explained how to get my other STD test results.

“And we thank you for keeping the community safe,” the tester said as I got up to go. It all made me feel proud; proud enough to go back and frolic through the corridors. Yes, I thought, this will be how I get regular testing from here on out.

Much to my dismay, the bathhouse did not actually have HIV testing every night, or even every week. It was an occasional thing. I didn’t have the brain power to remember how “occasionally” these testers were scheduled to visit – I’d have to wait patiently until I stumbled upon the testing again by luck. I figured it should happen again in about six months.

I no longer wanted to go back to the doctor’s office for testing. All the talk of confidentiality made me feel more secure getting tested at the bathhouse. I had to wonder about the people whose tests didn’t come back with good news; I could imagine that kind of result would be better discovered in a doctor’s office than any kind of sex club.

Little did I know, one day I would find out for myself.

Continued: Testing HIV positive with a rapid test